Monthly Archives: March 2014

Beautiful Shit…

Beautiful Shit…

Picture this…you’re walking through a gate that leads to a backyard. There’s gorgeous people partying everywhere!! You see a gleaming olympic sized pool, a bubbly jacuzzi, a basketball court and then a quaint little guesthouse. You step into the guesthouse which is completely furnished, the queen sized bed folds into the wall, the pool tables calling your name but comfy looking couches with nice looking ladies are calling you too, wink wink. The aroma of homecooked food is tantalizing and teasing your tastebuds. As you veer to the left of the kitchen, there’s a bookshelf. Now STOP!!

This is the bookshelf that changed my life!

The bookshelf is a door that gives access to the underground hideaway cave in the guesthouse!! The book shelf opens and leads you down some stairs, these stairs guide you to the secret lear, now turning to the right you see 8-10 theatre seats, a big ass scene TV in the wall, a personal bathroom and temperature controlled wine cellar and a marble bar. I don’t know about you but when I see things like this, it makes question my life lol. I thought I was doing pretty well until yesterday.

Now, you may be thinking…what does this have to do with dating and relationships? Well if you shushhhh, quit asking me questions and relax, I’ll tell you. Although I had a blast with my friends at this party yesterday, last night I went to bed kind of pissed. Not at anyone else but at myself.

See, people say it’s good to have a heart like mine, sweet, loving and kind but when you go through life always giving, if you allow yourself to be with people who don’t give back and you don’t give to yourself, you wind up empty.

Last night I thought of all the time I’ve wasted feeding into individuals who didn’t deserve to be with me when I could’ve been happily building an empire with someone who was worthy. I was too busy not seeing ME and instead seeing this illusion of potentiality within them that they didn’t even see.

At times we see others for who we want them to be and not for who they are and it’s detrimental to us because it’s not real. If you see a pile of shit, even if there are flowers growing out of it, it’s still shit and no matter how much the flowers may distract you, you have to see it for what it is. It’s the same with people.

Don’t waste your life away putting yourself, your heart and your desires on the backburner. Recognize your worth and wait for someone who deserves you. Accept the fact that you aren’t responsible for changing people. They might change in the future but for right now, they are who they are. Take the time to get to know people before you seriously commit. Ask yourself, if they never change and they stay the same, would you want to continue dealing with them? If not, see it for what it is – Beautiful Shit!!! And move the fuck around Clown lol.

Until we meet again my sweets,

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Posted by on March 30, 2014 in Dating, Life


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Dear future…

Dear future…

Tonight I was walking to the curb to take out the trash and I had a mono convo in my head. I was speaking to my future king. Sounds crazy but I don’t mind.
I said, “King today I woke up at 5:45am, got dressed dropped my daughter off at school, went to work for 9.5 hours, went to the gym, went to ATM afterwards and then got some gas. I came home after dark and due to lack of light I struggled but cleaned the back yard, then I took out the trash. King, I’ve been on my own since I was 17. I’ve done all of this with no one around. I don’t need you. I want you, isn’t that more profound?”

Until we meet my sweet

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Posted by on March 26, 2014 in Dating, Life


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Sex, old folks, noodles and shit…

2Crossed legsLove Challenge: Keep your legs closed for at least 90 days and see how things change.

I posted this “Love Challenge” on my Facebook wall last night before bed. I wasn’t really challenging anyone, I just called it that for shits and giggles but I woke up with mixed comments and several likes.

Here are some of the replies:

  • Are you joking? Or is this real?
  • Oh a lot changes when you remove sex from the equation you really get to know the person.
  • No thanks! I’m married with young children. Gotta take it when it happens. Lol
  • CTFU I made it and then some!!!
  • I couldn’t go 90 days in any situation! I blame it on the Taurus in me! Lol seriously I understand the concept, just never worked for me, I tried some years ago and I would break my own rule!
  • I lasted 8 months one time. It was rough.

Sex is a technical relation, the male and female organs were made to fit one another but it’s not an intimate connection. If it were, you’d still feel deeply connected to everyone you’ve had sex with.

(You’re obviously not because there are folks who you slept with and to this day you can’t even remember their names lol.)

People often mistake intimacy with sex but intimacy can be felt without any form of sexual experience. It’s a connection, a bodiless bond between two people. It’s an affectionate correlation that no one outside of your relationship can break. Imagine if you had a connection so strong with your partner that you could feel them when they weren’t there. Imagine if you could conceive orgasms without physical touch. Now that’d be deep, wouldn’t it? That’d be some serious shit!

A person who quickly replies “No” to abstinence without even thinking intrigues me because they’ve convinced their mind that their genitals rule them.

Romantically, I don’t trust anyone who thinks they’re addicted to sex or anything else. Lack of control is not attractive to me. “And I’m not just the Hair Club President, I’m a client too!” Lol, Sorry I’m just random. I’ve been abstinent since January. (My longest was 9 months) This run might not seem like a long time to you but for me, it’s a big deal!

How come, you ask? Because it’s made dating less emotional and therefore easier for me. I don’t find myself rushing and I don’t allow my feelings to guide me. I don’t know about guys but ladies if you keep it real with yourself, I know you feel me, we’re some emotional beings. We get attached quickly after sex. Wanna hear a joke? What do lesbians bring to a second date? Answer: a U-haul. I can laugh because I’m part Native American, French, Lesbian and Black. Bwhahhaha

Back in the day, I could “love em and leave em” but I’m not the beast I used to be.

This isn’t just about not having sex, it’s about seeing beyond what your eyes can see and feeling beyond what your hands can feel. This is about reaching for something more, something deeper, something beyond physicality, and something that would establish an invisible and intimate connection between you and yourself and therefore you and your current or future partner. Sometimes we allow to get so jaded by sex; we completely ignore the fact that we have absolutely nothing worthwhile with a person. What happens when we get old, I mean really freaking old. That your shit is shriveled up kind of old and limp like Asian noodles old. Sex doesn’t create longevity. You better have something else to go on…

Until we meet again my little freaky bastards,


Check out this post on sexual and aural energy…it’s interesting.

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Posted by on March 26, 2014 in Dating, Life


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Recreating the mistakes we make…

Recreating the mistakes we make…

We’ve been led to believe that mistakes are the worse things we can make. But quite the contrary, mistakes are the best teachers, if the mistake isn’t detrimental or fatal in some way. Allow me to explain…

What does a mistake teach us? A mistake or a misstep as I like to call them, teach us how not to do something. If we choose to try again, that mistake teaches us how to do whatever we attempted to do differently the next time. With our mission being not to make the same mistake.

We’ve coined this entire process as experience. Contrary to popular belief the most effective experience cannot be typed out on a rèsumè. This kind of learning has the most impact in our lives because it’s initiated by our emotions. When we’ve made a misstep we quickly analyze, most times unconsciously, how the mistake feels. When we realize it was a mistake, in that very moment, most of us have a premonition or an understanding that we don’t want to feel that way again. But even though we’ve gained something from the experience, we still tend to curse the mistake when actually it was the mistake that created the experience gained and the lesson learned. It’s the experiences in our lives that contribute to our growth and progression is what life’s about – internal progression, mental, emotional and so on.

The thing is, most of us have been reared in a society that teaches us that mistakes are negative and to be avoided. We are shamed when we make a mistake. But if we were in a freely creative and open minded society we would understand that the best experience comes from the mistakes we make. Instead of being shamed we should be praised for at least trying. Imagine that…imagine how much we could’ve learned if we weren’t afraid of making a mistake. Imagine how much more creative and imaginative we could’ve been. Thank goodness it’s not too late.

So with all of that being said, don’t ever be afraid to make a mistake whether it’s in love or whatever. Never be afraid to dust yourself off and try again.  Just be creative, free and open minded enough to learn from the experience instead of cursing it, in order to become a better Y-O-U.


Until we meet again my sweet bublicious bootys,


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Posted by on March 23, 2014 in Life


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Down with mediocrity!!!

Down with mediocrity!!!

When you wanted Prince Charming but ended up with the court jester. When you desired Cinderella but instead you knocked up her evil step sister with the ginormous feet….hmmmm. We’ve all done it. We’ve desired the most but accepted the least. You were financially decent, they were unemployed. You were health conscious, they were a junk food junkie. You’re attractive inside and out. Them? Not so much. You take pride in yourself and your body. They give up the cookies or the shaft to anyone with legs. See my point? You’ve got to seek within yourself and ask some clarifying questions. Come on, repeat after me…Self? Why do I keep settling for dumb fucks? Self? Why do I keep dating broke bitches with bad attitudes?

We all have that one person we’ve dated that every time you think back, you’re like why in the hell did I ever date them?!  #myex Are we just some impatient little assholes who can’t wait for the right person to come along? Delayed gratification, what’s that right? Do we think we’re aiming too high? Unconsciously, we must because we’re constantly landing low. Some might hit the middle target but if that’s not what we truly want, we can’t say we’ve achieved anything. What? You wanna high five because you landed the evil step sister with the small feet? No dude, sit down somewhere lol.

Seriously, think about it, where has the attitude of #fuckdelayedgratification gotten us? Heartache, despair, our time wasted and maybe even chlamydia. You little nasty suckas lol, wrap it up! We might have learned a few lessons about people but we need to be learning about ourselves. In some instances we learned a little but we’re still making the same damn mistakes over and over. It’s time to snap out of it!


You deserve whatever and whoever you want! It’s your life and it’s about being happy. It’s not about accepting mediocrity. Some people may say you’re selfish, conceited or whatever but that’s only because they have low self esteem and they believe just being content is good enough. Fuck that! I’d rather work on myself in the meantime and be patient than to end up with the unemployed, unhealthy, buttface with gonorrhea who can’t even give good head. Wouldn’t you? Ijs…

I just winked at you sweet lips,

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Posted by on March 22, 2014 in Dating, Life


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Awww poor baby, you’re S-I-N-G-L-E!

for-all-those-who-complain-about-being-single-and-unhappy-22576If you really want to find your mate, you’ve got to put some effort into it. You can’t simply depend on chance, luck, the Universe, God or whatever to drop the person into your life just like that. It’s like being unemployed and needing to find a job. If you’re determined, you don’t just sit on your ass all day waiting for the perfect job to land in your lap like a $5 hooker. You get the paper, post your resume on every job site available, talk to people about whose hiring and etc. You have to put in that same energy when looking for a mate. We’ve already been given the tools – Social media sites, online dating sites, places where singles mingle and etc.

So if you’re still whining, sitting at home every weekend and looking miserable because you’re dateless, it’s nobody’s fault but yours. If you’re insecure, scared and still bothered over your last relationship, there are life coaches and therapists that can help you. Some people assume that getting into a relationship will help them “get-over” their issues. But do you know what kind of people, messed up people attract? Other messed up people! No one deserves your baggage. Even airlines charge for that shit nowadays. It’s no one’s responsibility to make you happy, you have to do that for yourself. If you’re looking for someone else to validate you, you’re not ready to date yet anyway!

But maybe nothing is wrong with you. You’re emotionally balanced and just an attention whore, who probably has friends and family who are tired of hearing your somber ass crying about being lonely. If that’s the case, quit your whining – Get up, get out and discover what your heart desires. And if you don’t know what that is – Find YOURSELF!

A little tough L-o-v-e ain’t never hurt nobody ; )



Posted by on March 18, 2014 in Dating




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Posted by on March 8, 2014 in Dating, Life


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