A woman in #L♥ve…

You’ve prayed for it

Felt incomplete without it

Experienced envy of it

Yearned for it more than your breath

Without it you were on the brink of death

Short of it, you have nothing left

I feel compelled to ask. Are you really ready for love? Are you prepared for the helplessness that hits you like a flash of lightning in a thunderstorm? Are you emotionally equipped with what it takes to be in love? You state you desire love but are you ready?

When I met you, you were the prototype of a woman. You were strong and well put together. You had an essence that was attractive and your energy pulled me without effort. The sway in your walk would make anyone salivate. You were tantalizing. But even the stoutest woman will quake in unexpected submission when she falls in love. Especially if I’ve made her back arch and her toes curl. It will be the scariest thing she’s ever experienced. If she isn’t prepared, it will not only sweep her off her feet; it will cause her to lose her most precious possession, herself. She’ll find herself questioning her security, doubting her most innermost thoughts; she will feel powerless.

This is when most partners begin to see a woman they didn’t see before and sometimes it will push them away. Why? Because everything that you were before has been either tucked away and forgotten or it was washed away because it wasn’t real in the first place.

Once the L word has been spoken if a person is insecure, the nagging begins. The mistrust begins. The overthinking begins. It’s like you can’t help yourself and you don’t know why. Let me let you in on a little secret. All of these are symptoms from the vulnerability a person begins to experience after they fall in love or gain great feelings for another individual. Once you fall in love, if you are not complete within yourself, all of the insecurities you tried to hide or were unaware of, will make themselves shown, front line and center. And they will hit you and your partner like a freight train going south. Your once “caught up” partner will go west and if your internal issues are not addressed you will remain smack dap in the middle…stagnant.

Most people didn’t receive classes on confidence while in grade school nor in college. Most were not taught about love and relationships from their parents or elders. Most people aren’t cognizant in regard to dealing with themselves, let alone dealing intimately with someone else. A certain level of buoyancy is needed when dealing with love in relationships, especially when sex is involved and most people are not equipped for this. Most learn from experience, some don’t learn at all and if you find someone who’s willing to take the journey of finding yourself without judgment or ridicule successfully and devoid of insanity, you are a fortunate and rare person.

The best gift you can give yourself is honesty. Looking at yourself from the inside out might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but it can also be the most worthwhile. No one wants to admit they are not superwoman but instead they’re human. As women, we have been taught we always have to be strong, first for others and then for ourselves but that’s bullshit. Despite what’s going on in life, you must stop and take the time to look in the mirror at your innermost vulnerable self and ask, are you really ready for love or do you need to learn how to truly love yourself?

Love is

free and beautiful

Love is

peace and patience

Love is

all things good.

Until next time,

 

how to shit #rainbows…

It’s Monday morning and it takes everything within you to drag yourself out of bed. You not only dread Monday mornings but every moment that you have to be at work. You hate your job and you think everyone there is a fucktard! Hmmm…

Well it might not be your job that’s the issue or the people. I’m sorry to say (I’m lying, I’m not sorry) but ITS YOU! Awww poor baby, I’m calling you out and now you’re butt hurt.

You hate me now? Well too bad, keep listening. It sounds like there’s a lack of happiness/quality in your life and the way you’ve been approaching it, is most likely the cause of your discontentment. Get that frown off your face and let me explain.

I write about depending on you emotionally in this blog a lot. Well did you know there’s a word for that?

***Drum roll please***

It’s called INTROSPECTION!

In my own words, introspection is looking within yourself to find the answers you seek, hopefully with an understanding that you’re responsible for your thoughts and feelings, which dictate the level of happiness and quality in your life. 

Have you ever met or do you know a person who’s always happy? They seem like they always have something positive to say no matter the circumstances and they’re full of energy. We call those folks Positive Patties. PP’s might remind you of someone who’s amped up on coke but the diff is a PP’s high doesn’t go down, it’s natural, it doesn’t cause nose bleeds and it’s legal lol ☺.

HERE’S THE SECRET!!!

You must realize that happiness isn’t dependent upon or controlled by what’s occurring outside of you (people, religion, society, the media and etc.). Your level of happiness and therefore your quality of life is solely reliant on your thoughts and feelings. The key is you have to be consistent in controlling them in order to experience constant happiness, no matter what you’re doing, what’s going on in your life and regardless of who’s around.

Now some of you might be positively satisfied with your quality of life. If you are, kudos to you; tell everyone your secret by writing it in a book and charging $14.99 for it. That’s what I did…so go buy it at http://tiffanymichel-le.com and then email this post to all the fucktards you know, like seriously…let’s work together to make this world a much happier place.

Until we meet again my sweet banana splits with a cherry on top,

Tiffany Michellé

 

 

Fucktard!!!! I couldn’t think of anything else…

The moment when you realize your relationship is over is a crucial one. In that moment, there are a few options available that a lot of people neglect to consciously make a well thought decision about. Most people decide their post relationship actions based off of their emotions. Some sadly attempt to continue the relationship when their partner has repeatedly hurt them or expressed they’re no longer interested in the relationship, hoping and wishing that things will change. Some people leave but aim to get revenge #seektherapyuracreeper or they peruse around giving up the goods to every Tom, Dick and Harriet they meet. While others go into a shell and close themselves off or they date other people in lightning speed, neglecting to heal, hurting other people because of their own pain.

For a girl like me, there are only a couple options available: I can learn to appreciate the experience, receive whatever lessons need to be learned and quickly jump back on the saddle  or

Although the breakup occurred a few days ago, I’d been acting as if I was indifferent about it. Yesterday during the morning hours I was feeling great! I thought about what I needed to learn from the experience and a little bird must’ve chirped to a few folks that I was newly single because my phone began to ring more than it had been. I put my ego on and jumped into flirt mode.

The illusion of bliss was short lived. Later that afternoon it hit me that I’d already bought my plane ticket to visit and the rental car was booked. Since we were no longer an item, I’d need the car longer and I’d have to pay for all of my travel fees, a hotel and etc.  I don’t really know anyone there. The city where I spent most of my younger years is close by but it’s beyond boring, there’s not much for a Vegas girl to do and it’s super humid there. And to be honest, it’s like red neck country. Grrrrrrrrr, I sat in front of my laptop pondering. What do I do? Do I really desire to spend my vacation in the country with locusts, mosquitoes and confederate flags? Do I just say fuck it and go alone anyway? I could’ve remained in the world of many unanswered questions but I decided to do what I do best: Make the best out of the situation.

Ring…Ring…Ring…Welcome to Southwest Airlines, this is Susie how may I help you?

Hmmm… Well for starters, I’d like around $75,000 to pay off my school loans, a 2014 BMW 850 Grand Coupe, a maid with long legs, nice curves and a Brazilian accent and endless shots of Vodka, hold the chaser.

 

 

 

She was obviously unwilling to assist me with any of what I thought were totally reasonable requests so instead I asked her to update my destination to another place. After the call was over, I felt relieved, I began to make plans for my new trip and things were looking up.

While I was in the shower all of the optimism I had while inhaling the bitter sweet haze of being single again, went down the drain. The steam brought in something unexpected, my chest began to get heavy and I began to FEEL.

THIS WAS MY MOMENT

Oh shit!

I’m on the rebound!

I can’t start dating anyone.

I don’t know what I want.

Do I want to stay single?

What if I start dating someone and I hurt them because I am not sure?

I can’t think about focusing on someone else yet.

My feelings are hurt.

Earlier I stated:

“For a girl like me, there are only a couple options available: I can learn to appreciate the experience, receive whatever lessons need to be learned and quickly jump back on the saddle or ????”

When my mind quieted and the questions silenced, I decided that my “or ????” was to take the  time I need to breathe, grow through this and decide what I want for myself in regard to relationships. I’m quite sure after my lil ole heart is good again, I’ll be back to being Almostdating007. Maybe…

Until next time my sweet little butter nipples,

Tiffany Michellé

 

Get your happy ass on!!!

So you’re in a new relationship, you’re excited! You want to profess your love to the world!!! But when you do, the world says:
The bliss is only in the beginning.
This happiness is short-lived and when reality hits it’ll fade away.
You just met Mr./Ms. Such and Such, the real them isn’t out yet.

Now your excitement has faded and now you’re fearful. Listen, you have to understand something, unhappy people say unhappy people shit and if a person is unhappy in their own lives and they choose to exist in despair, that’s all they can see. They won’t be able to give you an optimist point of view and if you know they’re unhappy or jealous hearted, no matter how much you want their blessing, don’t expect them to. They can’t give you something they don’t presently have within themselves.

It’s like asking a prisoner for freedom. An advanced mind knows although he’s physically captive, his mind and spirit can be free. But to the mental and emotional prisoner, freedom is out of his realm of reality.

The truth is that Love can last, happiness and blissful experiences can stand the test of time, that’s not a myth or a mystery.

Two happy people is all it takes. Being a happy person adds a lot of other positive attributes to you: Patience, love, understanding and etc.

See, when you’re happy with yourself and your life before you enter a relationship, it’s easier for you to be yourself. You’re happy with you, you don’t know anything else. You don’t feel the need to be fake. You’re real and true.

You know that the sole individual responsible for your happiness is you. You understand your partner can add to the happiness that already resides within you but they cannot take it away.

When you’re happy, you take less things personal because you’re not on the defense and easily offended. When your partner is having a bad day, you know you’re not entitled to fix them or it. You just continue being your ole happy self and eventually they’ll feel better because they understand what it takes to elevate.

The scenario is completely different with a couple that consists of two unhappy people. One person is having a bad day. The other takes offense. They think it’s about them or they don’t give their partner the time they need to work through it. They nag or blame and now both parties have unproductive attitudes. They end up arguing over frivolous things and shit that doesn’t make sense. It’s the negative energy that exists in both of them.

So the next time you feel the need to skip your little happy go lucky and in love ass over melancholy Mindy’s house to share the news of your blossoming and loving sex pot of a relationship, think again.

Until we meet again suga pies,
Almostdating007

 

Down with mediocrity!!!

When you wanted Prince Charming but ended up with the court jester. When you desired Cinderella but instead you knocked up her evil step sister with the ginormous feet….hmmmm. We’ve all done it. We’ve desired the most but accepted the least. You were financially decent, they were unemployed. You were health conscious, they were a junk food junkie. You’re attractive inside and out. Them? Not so much. You take pride in yourself and your body. They give up the cookies or the shaft to anyone with legs. See my point? You’ve got to seek within yourself and ask some clarifying questions. Come on, repeat after me…Self? Why do I keep settling for dumb fucks? Self? Why do I keep dating broke bitches with bad attitudes?

We all have that one person we’ve dated that every time you think back, you’re like why in the hell did I ever date them?!  #myex Are we just some impatient little assholes who can’t wait for the right person to come along? Delayed gratification, what’s that right? Do we think we’re aiming too high? Unconsciously, we must because we’re constantly landing low. Some might hit the middle target but if that’s not what we truly want, we can’t say we’ve achieved anything. What? You wanna high five because you landed the evil step sister with the small feet? No dude, sit down somewhere lol.

Seriously, think about it, where has the attitude of #fuckdelayedgratification gotten us? Heartache, despair, our time wasted and maybe even chlamydia. You little nasty suckas lol, wrap it up! We might have learned a few lessons about people but we need to be learning about ourselves. In some instances we learned a little but we’re still making the same damn mistakes over and over. It’s time to snap out of it!

You deserve whatever and whoever you want! It’s your life and it’s about being happy. It’s not about accepting mediocrity. Some people may say you’re selfish, conceited or whatever but that’s only because they have low self esteem and they believe just being content is good enough. Fuck that! I’d rather work on myself in the meantime and be patient than to end up with the unemployed, unhealthy, buttface with gonorrhea who can’t even give good head. Wouldn’t you? Ijs…

I just winked at you sweet lips,
Almostdating007

 

Under-Estimated

Wouldn’t you rather dig through the hurt in order to find something good than to exist in the pain, continuing to live out the symptoms of it? Unhappiness-Depression-Bad Relationships-Low Self Esteem. Healing is never overrated, even if the power within you has been Underestimated.

Until Next Time my sweets,

Almostdating007

 

From the RanDom ThouGhts of AlmostDating007

If you’re afraid of something because its different, its due to the fact that you’re not allowing your mind to expand beyond its unlimited possibility. Why would you voluntarily do that to yourself? If you truly believe in your Higher Source, never fear. You could be missing out on the wonderful experiences that were made readily available because of Her, His or Its Love for you. Live Now.

Until Next Time my decadent little ragga muffins,

AlmostDating007