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Rhetorically Speaking

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~ Why do we allow unfavorable events in our lives to deter us and push us away from the very people we’ve asked The Creator to bless us with. Why do you hide in the corners of our minds, sulking in our egos instead of reaching out or graciously accepting help when it’s offered. We say we don’t want to be alone and deep down we know we aren’t the only souls who experience hard times but we alienate ourselves in this illusion, this false depiction of sad loneliness. Does part of us feel as if we don’t deserve the love we’ve requested within the depths our hearts. Why must we coward at the thought of seeming vulnerable. Shouldn’t the courage displayed in choosing to be vulnerable be praised. Are we not enough to allow ourselves simply to be…human?

Until next time my sweets,
Tiffany Michellé 💋
(Pronounced Michel-lay)
tiffanymichel-le.com

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Posted by on March 10, 2015 in Life

 

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Fucktard!!!! I couldn’t think of anything else…

The moment when you realize your relationship is over is a crucial one. In that moment, there are a few options available that a lot of people neglect to consciously make a well thought decision about. Most people decide their post relationship actions based off of their emotions. Some sadly attempt to continue the relationship when their partner has repeatedly hurt them or expressed they’re no longer interested in the relationship, hoping and wishing that things will change. Some people leave but aim to get revenge #seektherapyuracreeper or they peruse around giving up the goods to every Tom, Dick and Harriet they meet. While others go into a shell and close themselves off or they date other people in lightning speed, neglecting to heal, hurting other people because of their own pain.

For a girl like me, there are only a couple options available: I can learn to appreciate the experience, receive whatever lessons need to be learned and quickly jump back on the saddle  or

imageAlthough the breakup occurred a few days ago, I’d been acting as if I was indifferent about it. Yesterday during the morning hours I was feeling great! I thought about what I needed to learn from the experience and a little bird must’ve chirped to a few folks that I was newly single because my phone began to ring more than it had been. I put my ego on and jumped into flirt mode.

The illusion of bliss was short lived. Later that afternoon it hit me that I’d already bought my plane ticket to visit and the rental car was booked. Since we were no longer an item, I’d need the car longer and I’d have to pay for all of my travel fees, a hotel and etc.  I don’t really know anyone there. The city where I spent most of my younger years is close by but it’s beyond boring, there’s not much for a Vegas girl to do and it’s super humid there. And to be honest, it’s like red neck country. Grrrrrrrrr, I sat in front of my laptop pondering. What do I do? Do I really desire to spend my vacation in the country with locusts, mosquitoes and confederate flags? Do I just say fuck it and go alone anyway? I could’ve remained in the world of many unanswered questions but I decided to do what I do best: Make the best out of the situation.

Ring…Ring…Ring…Welcome to Southwest Airlines, this is Susie how may I help you?

Hmmm… Well for starters, I’d like around $75,000 to pay off my school loans, a 2014 BMW 850 Grand Coupe, a maid with long legs, nice curves and a Brazilian accent and endless shots of Vodka, hold the chaser.

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She was obviously unwilling to assist me with any of what I thought were totally reasonable requests so instead I asked her to update my destination to another place. After the call was over, I felt relieved, I began to make plans for my new trip and things were looking up.image

While I was in the shower all of the optimism I had while inhaling the bitter sweet haze of being single again, went down the drain. The steam brought in something unexpected, my chest began to get heavy and I began to FEEL.

THIS WAS MY MOMENT

Oh shit!

I’m on the rebound!

I can’t start dating anyone.

I don’t know what I want.

Do I want to stay single?

What if I start dating someone and I hurt them because I am not sure?

I can’t think about focusing on someone else yet.

My feelings are hurt.

Earlier I stated:

“For a girl like me, there are only a couple options available: I can learn to appreciate the experience, receive whatever lessons need to be learned and quickly jump back on the saddle or ????”

When my mind quieted and the questions silenced, I decided that my “or ????” was to take the  time I need to breathe, grow through this and decide what I want for myself in regard to relationships. I’m quite sure after my lil ole heart is good again, I’ll be back to being Almostdating007. Maybe…

Until next time my sweet little butter nipples,

Tiffany Michellé

 
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Posted by on August 1, 2014 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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Solitude Soul

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“Alone, he waits. His heart unsure of
her existence. His soul tired from consistence. He persists to seek her. He sits, reminiscent.”

Almostdating007
© 2014 T. Michellè
(Photo credit, Kim Barry)

 
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Posted by on May 11, 2014 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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This shit ain’t easy…

“NO, NO, NO! I got it all wrong! I take it all back…”

That’s what I wanted to say. Everything I said in Loving me was true. In that moment I didn’t care, I was hurt that the words I spoke yesterday took him away. Even if taking it all back was a lie, if it promised to take away this feeling, I would have said it anyway.

Let me ask you a question: How do you break up before you’ve even had the chance to get anything started? We weren’t even technically in a relationship but my heart feels like the awfully dear departed.mickey-mouse-sad

Yesterday, I blogged about some very private and painful experiences that have occurred in my life. I wasn’t asking for any sympathy, my point was to share what caused me to begin this journey of self-discovery. I wasn’t concerned about the feedback. I didn’t write it for that. I did care about how it would affect the thoughts of one person in particular. I wondered if he’d see me differently.

Before yesterday I’d never spoken some of the things I wrote. I cried while writing some parts. In order to think of everything that happened; I had to take my mind back to those times and no matter how I didn’t want it to, my heart followed.

From the day I created this blog, I’ve made it a point to not write about the gentlemen for who I really cared. Although I say a lot in this blog, I still like to keep some things private. Sometimes I write about situations after the fact. There hasn’t been many who I haven’t written about because there haven’t been many that I deeply cared about. The ones who knew, after I shared its existence, I regretted it. I like to feel like I can always be myself but I also care about other people’s feelings. I never want someone I truly care about to feel like I am putting our relationship out in the streets. (For those of you who are slang illiterate that means telling all of your business.) When I was seeing someone who knew about the blog, I found myself hesitating to be myself in my writing. I felt like I had to walk on pens and needles just to pacify him. I didn’t like that feeling. I wouldn’t do very well in prison, I was born in the year of the horse and my Venus is in Gemini, I don’t like to feel confined, especially when I write.

ShrekIt seems like we’ve been handed fairytales since we were little. The knight in the shining armor will come and rescue the princess. Some of us are still damThe_Evil_Queen_by_C_Tinksels in distress sitting and waiting in the tower of our hearts. In the meantime we are getting older and if we aren’t in a certain place within ourselves, our hearts are growing colder and colder.

The day before the post, he told me that he might have stumbled up on his keeper, referring to me. He said that the words I spoke yesterday caused him to look within his self, he felt differently. His mouth said he prefers to be alone and to keep his heart on a shelf. Last week he showed my picture to his friends. We sat, laughed, talked, shared our intentions and spoke of family and future plans. He put me in the “hot seat,” requesting all sorts of information. This was the first time anyone had done that. I was excited because it really felt like he wanted to get to know me. You should’ve heard his joy in his voice when he received some of my responses being that they were so similar to his. From the first moment I saw him a year ago, I wanted to know him, until recently I had only known him from a distance. Our preferences matching were purely “coincidence.”

How could he not know he wasn’t ready? Why would he allow himself to carry on in such ways? He acted like he was really happy in his moments with me. How could he just throw that all away in a day? He drew me into his world. I wasn’t asking for it. He invited me. He shared that I pulled his gravity. But something I said yesterday made him click, I’m not even sure which part in particular pushed him away from me.

The day I began this blog, it didn’t take me long to come up with its name. In matters of the heart, my love is so strong if we were speaking of sex, it’d be a premature ejaculator. So the phrase “premature dater” suited me. In the past when I met someone I would settle, telling myself that I could look past the fact that he wasn’t the ideal mate for me. I would rush into it and then end up being unhappy. Nowadays when I recognize that his ways and energy don’t affectwin-soul1t me positively, I let him go speedily. But I didn’t have to lie to myself with him. His truth self was so happy, funny, culturally diverse, responsible, loving, pleasing, witty, beautiful, soul levitating, breathtaking and so fitting. My soul fell in love with his quickly…

Almostdating007

 
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Posted by on May 9, 2014 in Dating, Life

 

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