The #Dating Series: Intentions

When you meet someone, if they’re truly interested in you, everything they do should match – how they pay attention to you, the questions they ask, the things they want to know about you. if they’re truly interested in you and who you are and what you can be for them and what they can be for you. not just what you like to eat or how are you are in bed but what makes you happy, what makes you smile, what makes you want to get up in the morning, what makes you sad, what makes you think. they should be interested in every single intricate detail of you and the being of who you are and everything they do should coincide with that. If everything doesn’t match, if everything they do, doesn’t match what they say then there’s an imbalance somewhere. at that point you need to make a decision as to if you want spend time in that person’s energy or not.

Until next time,
Tiffany Michellé ✌
TiffanyMichel-le.com

💕 Who doesn’t love long ass run on sentences 😆

 

Shall we be #free. Let’s.

Until next time,
Tiffany Michellé 💋

 

A woman in #L♥ve…

You’ve prayed for it

Felt incomplete without it

Experienced envy of it

Yearned for it more than your breath

Without it you were on the brink of death

Short of it, you have nothing left

I feel compelled to ask. Are you really ready for love? Are you prepared for the helplessness that hits you like a flash of lightning in a thunderstorm? Are you emotionally equipped with what it takes to be in love? You state you desire love but are you ready?

When I met you, you were the prototype of a woman. You were strong and well put together. You had an essence that was attractive and your energy pulled me without effort. The sway in your walk would make anyone salivate. You were tantalizing. But even the stoutest woman will quake in unexpected submission when she falls in love. Especially if I’ve made her back arch and her toes curl. It will be the scariest thing she’s ever experienced. If she isn’t prepared, it will not only sweep her off her feet; it will cause her to lose her most precious possession, herself. She’ll find herself questioning her security, doubting her most innermost thoughts; she will feel powerless.

This is when most partners begin to see a woman they didn’t see before and sometimes it will push them away. Why? Because everything that you were before has been either tucked away and forgotten or it was washed away because it wasn’t real in the first place.

Once the L word has been spoken if a person is insecure, the nagging begins. The mistrust begins. The overthinking begins. It’s like you can’t help yourself and you don’t know why. Let me let you in on a little secret. All of these are symptoms from the vulnerability a person begins to experience after they fall in love or gain great feelings for another individual. Once you fall in love, if you are not complete within yourself, all of the insecurities you tried to hide or were unaware of, will make themselves shown, front line and center. And they will hit you and your partner like a freight train going south. Your once “caught up” partner will go west and if your internal issues are not addressed you will remain smack dap in the middle…stagnant.

Most people didn’t receive classes on confidence while in grade school nor in college. Most were not taught about love and relationships from their parents or elders. Most people aren’t cognizant in regard to dealing with themselves, let alone dealing intimately with someone else. A certain level of buoyancy is needed when dealing with love in relationships, especially when sex is involved and most people are not equipped for this. Most learn from experience, some don’t learn at all and if you find someone who’s willing to take the journey of finding yourself without judgment or ridicule successfully and devoid of insanity, you are a fortunate and rare person.

The best gift you can give yourself is honesty. Looking at yourself from the inside out might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but it can also be the most worthwhile. No one wants to admit they are not superwoman but instead they’re human. As women, we have been taught we always have to be strong, first for others and then for ourselves but that’s bullshit. Despite what’s going on in life, you must stop and take the time to look in the mirror at your innermost vulnerable self and ask, are you really ready for love or do you need to learn how to truly love yourself?

Love is

free and beautiful

Love is

peace and patience

Love is

all things good.

Until next time,

 

#bisexual beauty

As a child I was raised in the “chuuuurrrcchhh” and I endured hearing people that I knew, some I didn’t, tell me how God didn’t make people like me. I heard that I was flawed; a sinner and eventually I’d burn in hell for all eternity because this pretty little brown eyed girl chose to be gay.

        Realistically, I was born this way.

In my teenage years, I looked but didn’t touch. In my early 20s I developed stomach issues due to the fact that I yearned for women so much but would choose not to act on my desires and curiosities. I liked men, I loved women, and I wanted them both but very differently.

I didn’t make it out of my 20s before I began quenching my feline thirst. Even so, I wasn’t’ entirely comfy in my skin. The things I heard when I was young would play over and over in my head. I felt doomed although I was just being myself. When I was in relationships with men, I’d yearn for a woman. I’d think about women in the moments of self-pleasure and every so often otherwise. I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong but I was still tormented.

Then something happened. And I believe that something was me saying, “Fuck it.” I began studying different spiritualties and I learned that there was a bigger picture than the one I grew up with. The world and God were much different than I had been taught. I began to accept the fact that I was different.

Truthfully, I’m still trying to comprehend it myself and honestly it’s a little hard for me to explain. In the past I’d feel like my skin was crawling if I was with a woman and dressed feminine. I’d feel out of place. I didn’t feel that way when with a man. It wasn’t until I was around 33 that I felt a little more comfortable dressing feminine while out with a woman. My closet used to look like a woman and a man had clothes in it but it was all just for me. The duality within me never felt stable.

I don’t date women and men at the same time. It’s too weird for me. I have to choose. I can’t do both. It feels like I have multiple personalities because I’m so different and I still haven’t figured out why. I’ve never cheated on a woman. I’ve cheated on almost every man I’ve been with. Who knows why?

My maternal family is very accepting and they’ve always been. Well my older brothers get grossed out when I see a beautiful girl before he does and I reply “Yeah I saw her already,” when he makes her existence known. For some reason he can say all kinds of stuff to me but he’s not comfortable with the vice versa. I get it though. I’m his little sister. He is in no way judgmental but it’s just different for him because it’s me. My guy cousins and my uncle say shit that grosses me out. They are way too comfortable. It’s like they’re happy I date women because they think I will find women for them. Lol, that’s not happening. My paternal family has disowned me. Not only have they distanced themselves from me but my daughter as well. Sigh.

For a long time, I didn’t like the term bisexual. I just didn’t think that I fit me. Besides, I don’t really like labels and my personality doesn’t fit into a little box no matter how pretty that box is decorated. I feel like the term “bisexual” is too generic for me. I prefer something like a Straight Lesbian.

Bi Myths:

· Bisexual  people are just greedy

· Bisexual people are not gay they are just confused… This is the most hurtful one.

· Bisexual people have it easy

· It’s just a phase

All of these make me shake my head because I don’t know about other people but being like this hasn’t been and isn’t easy. I can’t explain to you why I’m this way. I used to want to rip it out of me somehow because it was too complicated. I’ve lost my family. I miss them. They don’t understand so I guess they fear being around me. I used to hear my grandmother say, if you’re gay or Muslim I don’t want to have anything to do with you. I wouldn’t say anything. I was no longer a Christian but she didn’t know it. I was half gay and at that time she wasn’t aware of that either. To this day, I don’t know who told her or how she found out but I can tell you when because I haven’t heard from her or my father’s family since.

So now I’m 36 and I feel myself shifting. I look at men but soon after I become nauseated. This began about a month ago. I haven’t had good experiences with men but I don’t believe those experiences are causing this shift because I know there are good men in the world. I’m still attracted but that’s as far as it goes.

I won’t fight it, instead I embrace it. I welcome change.

Women? Now, THEY are a different story. My Taurus nostrils flare, my legs squeeze together and my right eye brow rises. I love women. I really don’t see how a person could not adore women. A woman is the most beautiful, shapely, unique being, the heavens have ever made. A woman’s curves, her lips, her moans, her smell, the way she can handle her own, overcome trials and tribulations in 6 inch stilettos with a baby bag and a briefcase at the same damn time continues to intrigue and entice me.

So this is my moment in transparency.

My time in triumph.

Through my experiences, others are gifted bravery 

and the rest my sweet little buttery nutts,

is HerSt♥ry!

 

Until next time,

Tiffany Michellé
Tiffanymichel-le.com

 

Where the heart is…

“An environment where you can be yourself 24/7 & be accepted 100% without judgment. That’s home.”

Click to visit my official site…

Until we meet again my loves,
Tiffany Michellè