A woman in #L♥ve…

You’ve prayed for it

Felt incomplete without it

Experienced envy of it

Yearned for it more than your breath

Without it you were on the brink of death

Short of it, you have nothing left

I feel compelled to ask. Are you really ready for love? Are you prepared for the helplessness that hits you like a flash of lightning in a thunderstorm? Are you emotionally equipped with what it takes to be in love? You state you desire love but are you ready?

When I met you, you were the prototype of a woman. You were strong and well put together. You had an essence that was attractive and your energy pulled me without effort. The sway in your walk would make anyone salivate. You were tantalizing. But even the stoutest woman will quake in unexpected submission when she falls in love. Especially if I’ve made her back arch and her toes curl. It will be the scariest thing she’s ever experienced. If she isn’t prepared, it will not only sweep her off her feet; it will cause her to lose her most precious possession, herself. She’ll find herself questioning her security, doubting her most innermost thoughts; she will feel powerless.

This is when most partners begin to see a woman they didn’t see before and sometimes it will push them away. Why? Because everything that you were before has been either tucked away and forgotten or it was washed away because it wasn’t real in the first place.

Once the L word has been spoken if a person is insecure, the nagging begins. The mistrust begins. The overthinking begins. It’s like you can’t help yourself and you don’t know why. Let me let you in on a little secret. All of these are symptoms from the vulnerability a person begins to experience after they fall in love or gain great feelings for another individual. Once you fall in love, if you are not complete within yourself, all of the insecurities you tried to hide or were unaware of, will make themselves shown, front line and center. And they will hit you and your partner like a freight train going south. Your once “caught up” partner will go west and if your internal issues are not addressed you will remain smack dap in the middle…stagnant.

Most people didn’t receive classes on confidence while in grade school nor in college. Most were not taught about love and relationships from their parents or elders. Most people aren’t cognizant in regard to dealing with themselves, let alone dealing intimately with someone else. A certain level of buoyancy is needed when dealing with love in relationships, especially when sex is involved and most people are not equipped for this. Most learn from experience, some don’t learn at all and if you find someone who’s willing to take the journey of finding yourself without judgment or ridicule successfully and devoid of insanity, you are a fortunate and rare person.

The best gift you can give yourself is honesty. Looking at yourself from the inside out might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but it can also be the most worthwhile. No one wants to admit they are not superwoman but instead they’re human. As women, we have been taught we always have to be strong, first for others and then for ourselves but that’s bullshit. Despite what’s going on in life, you must stop and take the time to look in the mirror at your innermost vulnerable self and ask, are you really ready for love or do you need to learn how to truly love yourself?

Love is

free and beautiful

Love is

peace and patience

Love is

all things good.

Until next time,

 

What’s not said, what’s not there ~ The ♥ illusion

So you’re single and looking. You’re on every free dating site known to man. You bring yourself to get out of the house and you attend as many community events as your schedule allows. You put on your big girl panties and try speed dating. You’re really making a conscious effort to think outside of the box. You go on dates with people you’re not attracted to, just in case they have a cute friend. You’re determined to find someone or allow them to find you.

After a series of unfortunate affairs, you meet someone! They are unquestionably fabulous! They’re stunning, smart and sexy. They’re absolutely everything you listed in your “what I want in a mate” journal.

The catch: One day while having blissful conversation, they drop the “F” bomb in your lap!

“I’m not looking for a relationship; I’m only interested in being FRIENDS.”

You act as if you’re ok with it but inside you really feel like someone just stole your brand new cute little fluffy puppy or came in 30 seconds, whichever is worse. You just met but you felt like this could develop into something beautiful being that they’re everything you want. If they asked, you would’ve totally thrown out every precaution and walked down the aisle followed by a lifetime of sweet, sweaty, sensual and in some states illegal, sexual escapades.

In that exact moment, there’s a vital opportunity to practice an ultimate act of self-actualization. You could respond, “Ok well, I AM seeking a relationship and I’d rather get to know someone who has the same goal,” BUT you don’t. You go along with what you don’t want. You put your desires on the back burner. You continue getting to know them, knowing you’re totally attracted to them, you want more than a friendship with them and they don’t want the same. In the back of your head you’re thinking, “If they get to know me and see how wonderful I am, they’ll change their mind” and your heart suffers continuing to long for something that isn’t there.

Until next time my sweet little pumpkin nutty balls,

Tiffany Michellé

Photo Credit: Just another painting sexy man. by ~aenaluck on deviantART

 

#hope

Until we meet,
Tiffany Michellé

 

Growing pains…

When a situation in your life feels uncomfortable, remind yourself that life is stretching you. Life’s desire is for you to grow through the lesson in order to become a better you. Take advantage of that moment. Quiet your emotions and consciously ask yourself – What role will I take in this situation, the victim or the victor? You have the power to decide.

Love & Light,
Tiffany Michellè

 

what’s #love got 2 do with it?

As we grow we should learn to accept the fact that people are allowed to choose what they want for their lives. It might not be the same decision that we would make but in that instant we must remind ourselves that we’re all different. Some of us want different things and because of that diversity, we make different choices. People chose to live for their own reasons. They chose their goals and their dreams and they’re permitted to select what they want and what they don’t, no matter how their choice might affect us.

In our last conversation over a year ago before I walked away, my father told me, “I love you daughter.” It was something he said every time we spoke and our conversation was coming to a close. But in his actions, he chooses not to be in my or my little brother’s life for reasons unknown – reasons of his own. Does that mean he doesn’t love us? I don’t know, honestly. The day I decided to heal from the pain, understanding was no longer my concern. I accepted the fact that his version of love isn’t mine.

We must respect the choices that people make with the understanding that it’s their life, not ours. You or I cannot paint a picture depicting what we want someone else’s love to look like and make it truth. How they choose to deliver it is up to them, we can only see what they give, decide if it matches ours and then choose if we want to receive it.

As we mature and experience life, our version of love changes like the weather. We meet people, we think we’re in love, it ends and we realize it was never love, just a very strong like. When we’re young, we love everyone. Then the world taints us, we experience pain and we become selective and protective.

If asked the definition of love, you could try your best to provide the most philosophical, intensely deep answer known to man but that answer would still only be your opinion, almost certainly based on your experiences. What does love look like to a girl whose mother has abused her since infancy? Does it look the same to a boy whose father devotedly cared for him all of his life? What about the girl who fell in love with a man who later broke her heart? What does love look like to her? Most likely her definition will be based on the timing in which you asked – before or after the heartache.

I have no idea what love is to you, her, him or anyone else; what I do know is…

“People will show you all kinds of confusing depictions of love therefore concurrently you must know without a doubt what it means to you. You need to be conscious of what it feels like, what it looks like, what it tastes like, what it smells like and what it sounds like to you. After you decide it’s meaning with everything within your being, you must stand firm on that belief consistently, like breathing.”

Until we meet again,

Almostdating007

 

The wondering…

“She wonders if the love of self is enough when her heart yearns to be shared with someone else. No matter how much she feeds her spirit, the void exists. Her soul, it misses him deeply but her mind doesn’t know who he is. She wishes to hear his voice, to feel his touch, to be comforted by his kiss. His energy has never been there. Does that stop his spirit from feeling she? Can he? Does he feel her the way that she feels he? His absence causes her to yearn continuously. Why is it taking so long for him to arrive? What is he afraid of? She’d never hurt him, only cherish, adore and protect his heart from strife. Doesn’t he feel within the depths of his being that she needs him? Her heart’s thoughts ~ Void of time.”

Almostdating007

(Photo credit, Kim Barry)

 

Under-Estimated

Wouldn’t you rather dig through the hurt in order to find something good than to exist in the pain, continuing to live out the symptoms of it? Unhappiness-Depression-Bad Relationships-Low Self Esteem. Healing is never overrated, even if the power within you has been Underestimated.

Until Next Time my sweets,

Almostdating007

 

And I’d say …

Above all trust yourself, your true self. the one that yearns for you to not only give but to receive love. to love to your highest heights, to love with ease. To cure the dis-ease of your past, to find the only love that lasts beyond the love from anyone else, the love within yourSelf.

 

Until next time my loves,

AlmostDating007

 

Eyes wide shut…

Ladies…

There are plenty of good men out there but there’s a catch.
If you’re so focused on the
untruism that there aren’t,
you won’t be able to see Him.

It’s been said, if you change your thoughts, if you change your mind – you can change your life. But if you put so much energy into believing that a person doesn’t exist, how can you ever see them in your reality?

I’ve heard so many ladies kick, cry and scream that they want a good man but in the next breath, she or another dame she calls a “friend,” will speak the most idiotic words ever known to woman…BUT THERE AREN’T ANY GOOD MEN OUT THERE or ALL MEN ARE DOGS! #killyoself. Do you mean to tell me that you truly believe that out of the millions of men in the world, none of them are good? Seriously?

What’s yalls problem?! I’ll answer that! You’re scared! You’re scared that if you believe he exists you’ll be responsible for attracting him, trusting him and loving yourself enough to love him and that would mandate you putting your heart on the line. You’re scared that if you do that, you’ll get hurt. You’re allowing fear to prohibit you from attracting and receiving the very thing your heart yearns for so much – Love. Now why would you ever go and do such a thing to yourself?

Idk who made you believe that you aren’t worthy of receiving every freaking single thing you desire but who cares what they said or what they did, FUCK THEM!

Listen to me ladies because I know your heart and I’ve been where you are.
Read this part aloud…Do it dammit!!!

I am strong enough, I am worthy enough, I am good enough, I am attractive enough, I am smart enough, I am sexy enough. I AM ENOUGH!!!!
(Go look in the mirror and say it over and over again.)

All you’ve got to do is believe it to receive it!!!!

Until next time my sweet babies, I love you all…

Almostdating007

 

 

Disclaimer: Don’t kill yourself. The statement is a figure of speech and I am not directing you to actually do it. If you do, because I have given this disclaimer I will not be liable. Please don’t though.