So you’re single and looking. You’re on every free dating site known to man. You bring yourself to get out of the house and you attend as many community events as your schedule allows. You put on your big girl panties and try speed dating. You’re really making a conscious effort to think outside of the box. You go on dates with people you’re not attracted to, just in case they have a cute friend. You’re determined to find someone or allow them to find you.
After a series of unfortunate affairs, you meet someone! They are unquestionably fabulous! They’re stunning, smart and sexy. They’re absolutely everything you listed in your “what I want in a mate” journal.
The catch: One day while having blissful conversation, they drop the “F” bomb in your lap!
“I’m not looking for a relationship; I’m only interested in being FRIENDS.”
You act as if you’re ok with it but inside you really feel like someone just stole your brand new cute little fluffy puppy or came in 30 seconds, whichever is worse. You just met but you felt like this could develop into something beautiful being that they’re everything you want. If they asked, you would’ve totally thrown out every precaution and walked down the aisle followed by a lifetime of sweet, sweaty, sensual and in some states illegal, sexual escapades.
In that exact moment, there’s a vital opportunity to practice an ultimate act of self-actualization. You could respond, “Ok well, I AM seeking a relationship and I’d rather get to know someone who has the same goal,” BUT you don’t. You go along with what you don’t want. You put your desires on the back burner. You continue getting to know them, knowing you’re totally attracted to them, you want more than a friendship with them and they don’t want the same. In the back of your head you’re thinking, “If they get to know me and see how wonderful I am, they’ll change their mind” and your heart suffers continuing to long for something that isn’t there.
Until next time my sweet little pumpkin nutty balls,
Photo Credit: Just another painting sexy man. by ~aenaluck on deviantART