I used to be the kind of person that would never ask for help nor accept help when it was offered. One year, I contracted this super duper intergalactic flu. I couldn’t do anything for myself. I had to suck my ego up and allow others to do things and buy things for me. Even accepting smallest financial tokens was hard for me. See, I’ve always prided myself on being so independent. I had never been so sick in my life but that isn’t what broke me.
While laying in bed, a silent and calm voice spoke to me. It asked one thing and that one thing changed me.
“Would you rather not have them?”
What? What do you mean? I sat there for a moment and then it dawned on me. What if the Universe assumed I didn’t need the people who were dear to me because I didn’t allow them to be there for me? What if they were taken away from me, from my life?
I began to cry. How had I made them feel by continuing to say no to their love? What if their most important need was the need to feel needed? What had I done? What was I doing?
From that day on, my mind changed as well as my heart. That day, I allowed love to love me back.
Idk who needed to hear this but I tend to be very obedient to the voice in my head and when it tells me to write, I do. So here ya go love bucket. From me to you…because we both deserve to be loved. đ
as humans we’ve been unconsciously reared to be people pleasers. Others will tell you to listen to their entity of choice but what most of them are saying is, “do what will please others so they won’t judge you or me because I know you.” So when we’re contemplating a decision, we automatically take account of how our choices will affect the people in our life and we worry about how they’ll see us. We normally choose what other people want for us and not what we desire. Not many of us were raised to do what makes us happy.
When we receive advice from people, we can’t really trust it because there’s sometimes an unconscious internal motive. You think people want the best for you but how can they really if they’re always telling you to read a book you didn’t write or to listen to an entity that most of them don’t really understand. They are people pleasers themselves so how or why should we trust their opinions when it comes to what’s best for us.
So my point? In the words of a poor righteous teacher, Devin the dude
“Do what the fuck you wanna do.” No one has to live for you and contrary to popular belief, you didn’t manifest yourself in this time space reality to please other people prior to pleasing yourself. Love is much better than and less selfish than what we’ve been shown and given. Love doesn’t leave or judge you because you’re being yourself. Love doesn’t want you to do what you’ve been told instead of living in your truest nature and desires. Love doesn’t worry about how your actions or your lifestyle will make it, your friends or your families look. Love only wants you to be exceedingly happy.
~ Why do we allow unfavorable events in our lives to deter us and push us away from the very people we’ve asked The Creator to bless us with. Why do you hide in the corners of our minds, sulking in our egos instead of reaching out or graciously accepting help when it’s offered. We say we don’t want to be alone and deep down we know we aren’t the only souls who experience hard times but we alienate ourselves in this illusion, this false depiction of sad loneliness. Does part of us feel as if we don’t deserve the love we’ve requested within the depths our hearts. Why must we coward at the thought of seeming vulnerable. Shouldn’t the courage displayed in choosing to be vulnerable be praised. Are we not enough to allow ourselves simply to be…human?
You never know what someone is going through. Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve and not everyone feels comfortable self disclosing without being prompted. So when your spirit whispers to you to ask if someone’s ok, push your ego to the side and put love first. You never know, you listening might save a moment or even a life.
So youâre single and looking. Youâre on every free dating site known to man. You bring yourself to get out of the house and you attend as many community events as your schedule allows. You put on your big girl panties and try speed dating. Youâre really making a conscious effort to think outside of the box. You go on dates with people youâre not attracted to, just in case they have a cute friend. Youâre determined to find someone or allow them to find you.
After a series of unfortunate affairs, you meet someone! They are unquestionably fabulous! Theyâre stunning, smart and sexy. Theyâre absolutely everything you listed in your âwhat I want in a mateâ journal.
The catch: One day while having blissful conversation, they drop the âFâ bomb in your lap!
âIâm not looking for a relationship; Iâm only interested in being FRIENDS.â
You act as if youâre ok with it but inside you really feel like someone just stole your brand new cute little fluffy puppy or came in 30 seconds, whichever is worse. You just met but you felt like this could develop into something beautiful being that theyâre everything you want. If they asked, you wouldâve totally thrown out every precaution and walked down the aisle followed by a lifetime of sweet, sweaty, sensual and in some states illegal, sexual escapades.
In that exact moment, there’s a vital opportunity to practice an ultimate act of self-actualization. You could respond, âOk well, I AM seeking a relationship and Iâd rather get to know someone who has the same goal,â BUT you donât. You go along with what you donât want. You put your desires on the back burner. You continue getting to know them, knowing youâre totally attracted to them, you want more than a friendship with them and they donât want the same. In the back of your head youâre thinking, âIf they get to know me and see how wonderful I am, theyâll change their mindâ and your heart suffers continuing to long for something that isnât there.
Until next time my sweet little pumpkin nutty balls,
During life we experience so much with other individuals. Some of those times feel good and some of them don’t. Often when they don’t feel favorable we point our emotional and mental attention outward at the person instead of inward to ourselves. In doing so we miss the opportunity to learn the lesson planted in the experience and therefore the chance to grow into a better us.
Never allow anyone to make you feel guilty for their shortcomings. Recognize when someone is attempting to put their bs on you. Either call them out on it or from a distance remain silent but do not under any circumstances, accept that shit! đ
Inspiring Times with Tiffany MichellĂ© đâ„âș 