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Tag Archives: self help

#Checkmate

​Whenever you find yourself appalled by someone’s behavior, surprised or even disgusted, remind yourself that your emotions and/or reactions are based on the expectation you’ve placed on that individual and their life. However that doesn’t mean that that’s their reality. 

Live long and prosper fockers 🖖, 

~ Tiffany Michellé 

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2016 in Life

 

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The good, the bad & the beautiful…


When difficult experiences arrive, Life grants us the opportunity to seek understanding and at times the best way to learn is to discover alternative perspectives. If we can change our sight in order to uplift our minds, we could see things differently easily. Practicing this is essential to growing and finding good even in hard times. When we attempt to find the good in the experiences we label as bad, we learn that it’s easier to control our emotions, instead of allowing them to control us. If we pay attention and don’t mind growing through the pain, we will find that difficult times teach us how to be better. 

Live long and prosper 🖖,

Tiffany Michellé

 
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Posted by on August 24, 2016 in Life

 

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#oneLife2Live

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I’ve lost both of my parents. I’m 37 and I live in an empty nest. Most nights I dine with my thoughts, cuddled up and comfy with solitude. Silence keeps me warm. Regret keeps me busy.

Some people don’t really understand the significance of time. More than money or any other materialistic thing, its what I wish I had more of.

We take advantage of the notion of tomorrow, not really accepting the fact that it might not show up. We spend so much of our moments chasing fantasies and worrying about the things we can’t control.

By focusing on who I’d disappoint, I sacrificed my own happiness, spending many years of my life living for other people. Who I was, was lost. My vision was unclear. I sit in silence thinking of how many opportunities I was gifted to experience life, wishing I could go back in time. To the moment when…

All she wanted to do was love me.

We learn our ABCs; we don’t learn how to be happy. Boy and Girls today’s lesson: How to people please. We are raised to be drones, programmed to live for our family, religion and society. We live in a space where people seldom ask, “Are you truly happy?”

My advice to you:

Don’t wait until it’s too late
Cherish those you love
Treasure those who love you
Live your life for you
Do what you love
Be who you want to be
NOW is all we have

Until we meet again,
Tiffany Michellé 💋

Books available at http://TiffanyMichel-le.com

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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Free 2 #loveme

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I used to be the kind of person that would never ask for help nor accept help when it was offered. One year, I contracted this super duper intergalactic flu. I couldn’t do anything for myself. I had to suck my ego up and allow others to do things and buy things for me. Even accepting smallest financial tokens was hard for me. See, I’ve always prided myself on being so independent. I had never been so sick in my life but that isn’t what broke me.

While laying in bed, a silent and calm voice spoke to me. It asked one thing and that one thing changed me.

“Would you rather not have them?”

What? What do you mean? I sat there for a moment and then it dawned on me. What if the Universe assumed I didn’t need the people who were dear to me because I didn’t allow them to be there for me? What if they were taken away from me, from my life?

I began to cry. How had I made them feel by continuing to say no to their love? What if their most important need was the need to feel needed? What had I done? What was I doing?

From that day on, my mind changed as well as my heart. That day, I allowed love to love me back.

Idk who needed to hear this but I tend to be very obedient to the voice in my head and when it tells me to write, I do. So here ya go love bucket. From me to you…because we both deserve to be loved. 😉

Until next time,
Tiffany Michellé ✌

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2015 in Life, Love

 

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#707 Shift Happens

I’m currently reading one of my favorite books for the 3rd time, The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz. I highly recommend it to anyone who desires to see a heightened and an effective perspective about love of self and others.

In the chapter, entitled The Wounded Mind, a question is posed,

“How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?”

This question never stuck out to me in my previous reads as it did today. The word relationship derives from the word relate, meaning to interact realistically and/or an ability to relate emotionally to others.

Let’s venture off for just a moment…

Earlier this year, I began to experience a shift. As a person who consistently felt as if the cosmos was pulling me into relationship after relationship, imagine my surprise when I began to have no desire to “relate” with men. Every time I pictured being with a man, I would experience immediate nausea (it still happens). One would think because I’m bisexual this wouldn’t bother me but I began to feel very afraid. Perhaps this was my inner self somehow indicating that I no longer desired men and therefore I’d solely desire women. That would be ok for some but not for me. See, I like options; I always have. Although being attracted to both sexes has been strenuous at times, I love the way I am. I feel perfectly balanced. I like the way I help others gain perspective being that I’m so open, nonjudgmental and unbiased.

As a conscious person, I seldom go outside of myself for answers. I tend to go within to seek answers in regard to my emotions, thoughts and my actions. So instead of continuing to be scared without taking action, I began to self-analyze.

A Conversation with self:

Self: When did this begin?

Me: After the last relationship ended.

Self: But even after the relationship ended you had to have had a slight sexual desire for men because you participated in a single sextracurricular activity.

Me: After that, I felt NOTHING.

What the hell was going on? Why was I going through this?

After a while, I just accepted it. I’d see attractive people and my spidey senses would tingle but the nausea would come immediately after. Imagine my dismay; imagine the mayhem going on inside of my mind and my body. I felt like I’d been bamboozled, run amuck, we didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us! (If you don’t know that line, #killyoself)

Alright so let’s go back to the question:

“How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?”

Nothing in regard to dating made 100% sense during this shift. But the moment I read that question, clarity rang from the heavens. I am not single because I’m not attractive, intimidating, too picky, undeserving, too big, too little, too black, too tall, too smart or too different. After I read that question, it was simple. I am single because the people I meet relate to things that are for entertainment purposes only; things that lack meaning. Most of the guys haven’t been thinkers or readers. They’re caught up in the illusion and completed distracted. Growth to them isn’t about self-love, self-reliance, introspection and etc. Being successful is equated to how much money they have, how many women they can have sex with, how big their houses are and what kind of car they drive; without these things, they feel like they are nothing. I am single because I can’t relate.

I now know that this wasn’t a sexual shift I’ve been experiencing. This is much more than my getting nauseated at the thought of relations with a man. This was about my being so disgusted by my past counterparts who were emotionally wounded and sick with fear that I unknowingly developed a psychosomatic defense mechanism. The nausea was a safeguard. As I think back and am truly honest, I fell weak after my last relationship. I sunk very low within myself. Something within me had to protect me until I could do it on my own. I am now emotionally healed and I live fearlessly once again.

Until next time,

Tiffany

TM

 
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Posted by on July 2, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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A woman in #L♥ve…

man-kiss-woman-adam-art-last_10928You’ve prayed for it

Felt incomplete without it

Experienced envy of it

Yearned for it more than your breath

Without it you were on the brink of death

Short of it, you have nothing left

I feel compelled to ask. Are you really ready for love? Are you prepared for the helplessness that hits you like a flash of lightning in a thunderstorm? Are you emotionally equipped with what it takes to be in love? You state you desire love but are you ready?

When I met you, you were the prototype of a woman. You were strong and well put together. You had an essence that was attractive and your energy pulled me without effort. The sway in your walk would make anyone salivate. You were tantalizing. But even the stoutest woman will quake in unexpected submission when she falls in love. Especially if I’ve made her back arch and her toes curl. It will be the scariest thing she’s ever experienced. If she isn’t prepared, it will not only sweep her off her feet; it will cause her to lose her most precious possession, herself. She’ll find herself questioning her security, doubting her most innermost thoughts; she will feel powerless.

This is when most partners begin to see a woman they didn’t see before and sometimes it will push them away. Why? Because everything that you were before has been either tucked away and forgotten or it was washed away because it wasn’t real in the first place.

Once the L word has been spoken if a person is insecure, the nagging begins. The mistrust begins. The overthinking begins. It’s like you can’t help yourself and you don’t know why. Let me let you in on a little secret. All of these are symptoms from the vulnerability a person begins to experience after they fall in love or gain great feelings for another individual. Once you fall in love, if you are not complete within yourself, all of the insecurities you tried to hide or were unaware of, will make themselves shown, front line and center. And they will hit you and your partner like a freight train going south. Your once “caught up” partner will go west and if your internal issues are not addressed you will remain smack dap in the middle…stagnant.

Most people didn’t receive classes on confidence while in grade school nor in college. Most were not taught about love and relationships from their parents or elders. Most people aren’t cognizant in regard to dealing with themselves, let alone dealing intimately with someone else. A certain level of buoyancy is needed when dealing with love in relationships, especially when sex is involved and most people are not equipped for this. Most learn from experience, some don’t learn at all and if you find someone who’s willing to take the journey of finding yourself without judgment or ridicule successfully and devoid of insanity, you are a fortunate and rare person.

The best gift you can give yourself is honesty. Looking at yourself from the inside out might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but it can also be the most worthwhile. No one wants to admit they are not superwoman but instead they’re human. As women, we have been taught we always have to be strong, first for others and then for ourselves but that’s bullshit. Despite what’s going on in life, you must stop and take the time to look in the mirror at your innermost vulnerable self and ask, are you really ready for love or do you need to learn how to truly love yourself?

Love is

free and beautiful

Love is

peace and patience

Love is

all things good.

Until next time,

TMichel-le

 
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Posted by on May 5, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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“Say what you want, hoe you’re grown…”

as humans we’ve been unconsciously reared to be people pleasers. Others will tell you to listen to their entity of choice but what most of them are saying is, “do what will please others so they won’t judge you or me because I know you.” So when we’re contemplating a decision, we automatically take account of how our choices will affect the people in our life and we worry about how they’ll see us. We normally choose what other people want for us and not what we desire. Not many of us were raised to do what makes us happy.

When we receive advice from people, we can’t really trust it because there’s sometimes an unconscious internal motive. You think people want the best for you but how can they really if they’re always telling you to read a book you didn’t write or to listen to an entity that most of them don’t really understand. They are people pleasers themselves so how or why should we trust their opinions when it comes to what’s best for us.

So my point? In the words of a poor righteous teacher, Devin the dude

“Do what the fuck you wanna do.” No one has to live for you and contrary to popular belief, you didn’t manifest yourself in this time space reality to please other people prior to pleasing yourself. Love is much better than and less selfish than what we’ve been shown and given. Love doesn’t leave or judge you because you’re being yourself. Love doesn’t want you to do what you’ve been told instead of living in your truest nature and desires. Love doesn’t worry about how your actions or your lifestyle will make it, your friends or your families look. Love only wants you to be exceedingly happy.

Until next time my sweet little suga pops!
Tiffany Michellé
http://tiffanymichel-le.com

 
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Posted by on April 18, 2015 in Life, Love

 

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