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#707 Shift Happens

I’m currently reading one of my favorite books for the 3rd time, The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz. I highly recommend it to anyone who desires to see a heightened and an effective perspective about love of self and others.

In the chapter, entitled The Wounded Mind, a question is posed,

“How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?”

This question never stuck out to me in my previous reads as it did today. The word relationship derives from the word relate, meaning to interact realistically and/or an ability to relate emotionally to others.

Let’s venture off for just a moment…

Earlier this year, I began to experience a shift. As a person who consistently felt as if the cosmos was pulling me into relationship after relationship, imagine my surprise when I began to have no desire to “relate” with men. Every time I pictured being with a man, I would experience immediate nausea (it still happens). One would think because I’m bisexual this wouldn’t bother me but I began to feel very afraid. Perhaps this was my inner self somehow indicating that I no longer desired men and therefore I’d solely desire women. That would be ok for some but not for me. See, I like options; I always have. Although being attracted to both sexes has been strenuous at times, I love the way I am. I feel perfectly balanced. I like the way I help others gain perspective being that I’m so open, nonjudgmental and unbiased.

As a conscious person, I seldom go outside of myself for answers. I tend to go within to seek answers in regard to my emotions, thoughts and my actions. So instead of continuing to be scared without taking action, I began to self-analyze.

A Conversation with self:

Self: When did this begin?

Me: After the last relationship ended.

Self: But even after the relationship ended you had to have had a slight sexual desire for men because you participated in a single sextracurricular activity.

Me: After that, I felt NOTHING.

What the hell was going on? Why was I going through this?

After a while, I just accepted it. I’d see attractive people and my spidey senses would tingle but the nausea would come immediately after. Imagine my dismay; imagine the mayhem going on inside of my mind and my body. I felt like I’d been bamboozled, run amuck, we didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us! (If you don’t know that line, #killyoself)

Alright so let’s go back to the question:

“How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?”

Nothing in regard to dating made 100% sense during this shift. But the moment I read that question, clarity rang from the heavens. I am not single because I’m not attractive, intimidating, too picky, undeserving, too big, too little, too black, too tall, too smart or too different. After I read that question, it was simple. I am single because the people I meet relate to things that are for entertainment purposes only; things that lack meaning. Most of the guys haven’t been thinkers or readers. They’re caught up in the illusion and completed distracted. Growth to them isn’t about self-love, self-reliance, introspection and etc. Being successful is equated to how much money they have, how many women they can have sex with, how big their houses are and what kind of car they drive; without these things, they feel like they are nothing. I am single because I can’t relate.

I now know that this wasn’t a sexual shift I’ve been experiencing. This is much more than my getting nauseated at the thought of relations with a man. This was about my being so disgusted by my past counterparts who were emotionally wounded and sick with fear that I unknowingly developed a psychosomatic defense mechanism. The nausea was a safeguard. As I think back and am truly honest, I fell weak after my last relationship. I sunk very low within myself. Something within me had to protect me until I could do it on my own. I am now emotionally healed and I live fearlessly once again.

Until next time,

Tiffany

TM

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Posted by on July 2, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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Video

Help yourself to some Texas Tea ; )

Hey sweet peas! In this Vlog I’m bringing you up to speed on why I choose to Vlog, the trials of guiding others as well as myself and how I’ve grown sweetly on Texas tea. Enjoy my Enlightened @$$hole ☺! Put it on full screen so you can see, me so pretty lol.

This was in interesting experience to say the least. It’s one thing to put your words out in the atmosphere for all the world to hear but to add virtual physicality is a whole “notha” kind of experience.

Now you guys can see if I’m bullshitting you or telling the truth because I cannot hide my expressions lol. All and all I believe this will be truly amazing for both you and me!

Until next time my sweets,

Almostdating007

 
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Posted by on May 15, 2014 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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Breaking Up: The Blame Game

BreakupsBreakups happen and there’s really nothing anyone can do about that. People rush into relationships based on how they feel about the person physically. People get into relationships prior to getting over others. People get into relationships before they’re ready to sacrifice being with other lovers. No matter the origin, when it’s over, it’s over; no matter who’s to blame.

Before I began this conscious journey of self-discovery, when I’d experience a breakup even if the guy was completely wrong, somehow secretly I’d blame it all on me. I knew I was a good person and in most things I did, I meant well but in the back of my heart, I’d tend to think he acted the way he did because He didn’t see me…

Most of the guys I’ve dated in my distant past were douche bags so if they didn’t take the time and effort to see the truly beautiful, intelligent, caring, loving, thoughtful, wonderful, sexy Me, why in the hell did I care? Why would I look down on myself? Well back then I was unaware that not seeing me was a commonality he and I shared.

Back then I didn’t see myself. Emotionally I was unhealed. If you read Loving Me, you’ll recall with most of these guys my heart was looking for the love I didn’t get from my daddy. So even when I’d get so hurt to where I felt like I couldn’t take anymore, he’d come crawling back saying all the “right” things and I’d open the damn door!

healthy-apple-love-illusionWhen your heart is unhealed, you live in little illusions and you don’t truly see shit for what it is, you see it for what you think it could be. So in my head, I was thinking he’d change, if he would only see me…not understanding that he didn’t even see his self.

A lot of people do this: We think when people see how good of a person we are, they’ll change their negative ways. But that’s a fallacy, it’s not reality. If anyone changes, they need to change for themselves and in their own space and time. It doesn’t matter how beautiful, gifted, if you shit gold bricks or if you can tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue (I can do that btw, wink wink Sweetie), if he’s a dick that’s what he’s going to be, a dick. No matter how handsome you are, if you have a platinum penis, or if you wine and dine her, if her heart isn’t in the right place; she won’t change for you either.

Most times the way people act have nothing to do with you. There are millions of unhealed people walking this earth. A lot of them are still negatively affected by what their parents did or didn’t do. People are afraid to admit to themselves that they are hurting so why would they admit it to you. Most don’t even understand the emotions going on within them. So when the old pain is triggered, they blame it on you. They don’t want to heal or don’t understand that they need to. Introspection takes courage and besides that’s too much work. So hey here’s an easier route, let’s make you responsible for their lack of happiness and their issues.

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I just saw a light bulb in someone’s mind go off. Does this sound like someone you know or is it you? Who needs a therapist when you’ve got me? F that, buy my book! ☺

But really, if they don’t appreciate who you are, sweetie you have to move on. You can’t just sit around waiting for them to change. Hurting people hurt people. Sounds clichè but its true…

And if you’re the one that’s doing the damage, you’ve got some work to do. If you continue to believe that you lack something you’ll remain unaware that the things you seek cannot be found in someone else. You’ll continue to play the blame game, blaming yourself for other people’s pain or blaming them for the healing absent within yourself.

But when you know better, you do better and the more you look within yourself, you’ll come to find that everything you need to be a better you is within you, you just have to be brave enough to look. If your intentions are good and your heart is true, the Universe will bless you with someone who deserves you. If you don’t believe me, buy my book. It says this too and we all know that everything in books is the TRUTH ☺.

Until we meet again my loves,

Almostdating007

(Photo Credit, Sexy Lightbulb: JG-Edits)

 
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Posted by on May 13, 2014 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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Recreating the mistakes we make…

Recreating the mistakes we make…

We’ve been led to believe that mistakes are the worse things we can make. But quite the contrary, mistakes are the best teachers, if the mistake isn’t detrimental or fatal in some way. Allow me to explain…

What does a mistake teach us? A mistake or a misstep as I like to call them, teach us how not to do something. If we choose to try again, that mistake teaches us how to do whatever we attempted to do differently the next time. With our mission being not to make the same mistake.

We’ve coined this entire process as experience. Contrary to popular belief the most effective experience cannot be typed out on a rèsumè. This kind of learning has the most impact in our lives because it’s initiated by our emotions. When we’ve made a misstep we quickly analyze, most times unconsciously, how the mistake feels. When we realize it was a mistake, in that very moment, most of us have a premonition or an understanding that we don’t want to feel that way again. But even though we’ve gained something from the experience, we still tend to curse the mistake when actually it was the mistake that created the experience gained and the lesson learned. It’s the experiences in our lives that contribute to our growth and progression is what life’s about – internal progression, mental, emotional and so on.

The thing is, most of us have been reared in a society that teaches us that mistakes are negative and to be avoided. We are shamed when we make a mistake. But if we were in a freely creative and open minded society we would understand that the best experience comes from the mistakes we make. Instead of being shamed we should be praised for at least trying. Imagine that…imagine how much we could’ve learned if we weren’t afraid of making a mistake. Imagine how much more creative and imaginative we could’ve been. Thank goodness it’s not too late.

So with all of that being said, don’t ever be afraid to make a mistake whether it’s in love or whatever. Never be afraid to dust yourself off and try again.  Just be creative, free and open minded enough to learn from the experience instead of cursing it, in order to become a better Y-O-U.

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Until we meet again my sweet bublicious bootys,

Almostdating007

Click here to visit my official site

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2014 in Life

 

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