Eat, Shit, Pray L♥ve

I can’t recall the exact day but one day in September 2014, I decided that I was going to focus on love. Not giving it, I’ve been doing that all of my life without a vacation. I planned to focus on being at the receiving end. I decided that I’d invite love in, but not just any love, I planned to manifest the perfect love for me. I decided to eat, sleep, sing and write only about love. I would’ve shitted love if I could lol #ewww. I’d only pay attention to love.

Now this might sound simple to you. It wasn’t. I’m a busy woman. I’m a self made entrepreneur. I had business to take care of but that business had to wait because I’d grown tired of waiting. The t-shirt design production would have to wait. The book would have to collect dust. Everything that wasn’t directly related to my receiving love was placed on the back end of my consciousness. I disabled my Facebook and other select social media networks. I decided (the death of all other options, thanks Frantonia Pollins) to focus.

So I created yet another profile on a well-known online dating site. I kept my Instagram open because I needed an outlet to write about love. I have a firm understanding that “you get what you give” so I knew if I talked to love by way of my writing through my heart, it’d eventually start talking back. So that’s exactly what I did. Every piece was about love. No matter how many inspirational and motivational writings came to mind, I didn’t write them down. I only put pen to paper if my thoughts were about el amour.

The journey…

If you’ve ever been on any online dating site, you have come to understand that they give you a serious depiction of the fact that the world is full of idiots. It’s sad but the shit is true. If you had any doubt, online dating sites will prove to you that stupid people exist in supreme magnitude. Even though this is fact, I didn’t allow my short lived idiotic experiences to deter me from my goal. You might recall my dating challenge. During that time, I went out on a date even if I really didn’t like the guy. It was about numbers and getting to know the woman in me. This was not that. I didn’t even waste my time or my keystrokes with anyone I wasn’t feeling. I politely dismissed them was this shindig right here… My Dear John aka Jerome letter:

Yup I sure did. I clicked send, kept it pushing and I didn’t look back. I was focused babies. A few times I even expanded my search to out of towners that lived in the states I would consider moving to. I’d do that for about a week and then I’d bring it back home. I didn’t waste my time in too much textual conversation. If I got the feeling, I’d slide him my number. See, I need to hear a man’s voice to see if I’m attracted. I’m not into men with feeble voices. I’m stubborn. When I get out of line, I need a man with some bass in his tone to reel me back in.

Unfortunately, I had one bad experience. I had a stalker. He played sane but he wasn’t even close to that. I ended up having to block his text, calls, emails and I thanked baby Buddha over and over that he didn’t know where I lived. I deleted my profile for about 2 weeks but then I refocused and began again.

I got to the point to where my options were so plentiful; I could’ve gone out on a date every night for the rest of the year if I wanted to. Not to toot my own horn but I’m tooting my own horn lol. In spite of my plentiful choices, I narrowed my picks to two gentlemen. They were totally opposite of one another. One’s skin was light, one was dark, one was younger than me, the other was older than me, he was from the west coast, he was from the east, one had kids, the other had none, one was a good boy, and the other had a bad boy edge. One thing they did have in common was they both worked out, had sexy athletic bodies, were tall and both had nice deep voices.

What was a girl to do right? Well one of them made it really easy for me. He did something that the other one didn’t do. He knew something that the other didn’t. He had it. And IT was focus. He knew what he wanted and he knew who he wanted. He paid attention and he made time. He wanted me and him wanting me and not being afraid to show it made it easy for me to figure out that I wanted him too. After the decision was made, everything fell into place. I won’t give you all of the juicy details but I can tell you this. FOCUS!!!! By my focusing on receiving love, I attracted a man into my atmosphere that primarily focuses on giving it back to me (in multiple ways whew!).

So at the end of the day sweet babies, listen to me: If you know what you want and you’re sure you want it, don’t allow anything to get in your way. You might have to place some things on the back burner in order to put yourself first. Imagine, if some of us put as much focus into receiving intimate love than we put into making money, building our careers, helpings others and etc., we probably would’ve received the love we seek long ago. Think on it. Love on it.

Until next time my sweet little monkey nutts,

Tiffany Michellé

Have a listen…

 

 

Get your happy ass on!!!

So you’re in a new relationship, you’re excited! You want to profess your love to the world!!! But when you do, the world says:
The bliss is only in the beginning.
This happiness is short-lived and when reality hits it’ll fade away.
You just met Mr./Ms. Such and Such, the real them isn’t out yet.

Now your excitement has faded and now you’re fearful. Listen, you have to understand something, unhappy people say unhappy people shit and if a person is unhappy in their own lives and they choose to exist in despair, that’s all they can see. They won’t be able to give you an optimist point of view and if you know they’re unhappy or jealous hearted, no matter how much you want their blessing, don’t expect them to. They can’t give you something they don’t presently have within themselves.

It’s like asking a prisoner for freedom. An advanced mind knows although he’s physically captive, his mind and spirit can be free. But to the mental and emotional prisoner, freedom is out of his realm of reality.

The truth is that Love can last, happiness and blissful experiences can stand the test of time, that’s not a myth or a mystery.

Two happy people is all it takes. Being a happy person adds a lot of other positive attributes to you: Patience, love, understanding and etc.

See, when you’re happy with yourself and your life before you enter a relationship, it’s easier for you to be yourself. You’re happy with you, you don’t know anything else. You don’t feel the need to be fake. You’re real and true.

You know that the sole individual responsible for your happiness is you. You understand your partner can add to the happiness that already resides within you but they cannot take it away.

When you’re happy, you take less things personal because you’re not on the defense and easily offended. When your partner is having a bad day, you know you’re not entitled to fix them or it. You just continue being your ole happy self and eventually they’ll feel better because they understand what it takes to elevate.

The scenario is completely different with a couple that consists of two unhappy people. One person is having a bad day. The other takes offense. They think it’s about them or they don’t give their partner the time they need to work through it. They nag or blame and now both parties have unproductive attitudes. They end up arguing over frivolous things and shit that doesn’t make sense. It’s the negative energy that exists in both of them.

So the next time you feel the need to skip your little happy go lucky and in love ass over melancholy Mindy’s house to share the news of your blossoming and loving sex pot of a relationship, think again.

Until we meet again suga pies,
Almostdating007

 

Douche bags, cock suckers, math and shit☺

You’re frustrated and everyone you’ve met in regard to dating has been a douche bag (my 2^nd favorite word, after cock sucker). So now you’re done! Your mouth says, you’d rather stay single than to keep going through the bullshit! You’re mad, you don’t feel appreciated, you’re misunderstood and you feel like all of the good people in the world must be married, gay or in prison, Sound about right?

Well let’s see if I can help you gain a renewed perspective without hurting your little feelings.

As always to give you a little cushion as I like to do, I’ll begin with me. After years and years of dating the wrong people, I was emotionally exhausted. I had enough. I took a moment to sit down and I thought about my dating life. I thought about all of the decisions I made in my past in regard to people I dated and in that instant, a light bulb went off. The inner voice in my head said…

No matter how mad this made my ego, my inner voice was right. I wouldn’t have been able to see or admit that to myself if I allowed myself to still be in the midst of the bullshit. But by that time I had removed myself. Don’t get me wrong, I was still angry. I was mad, I felt unappreciated and misunderstood and I began to believe that all the good people were either married, gay or in jail.

My inner guide (or whatever you choose to call it) was trying to get me to see that my major issue wasn’t the douche bags. My main issue was that for whatever reason, I picked them. In what I now call the ultimate surrender, I had to admit that the issue was me.

Now by no means am I saying that it’s ok to cheat, belittle, be selfish and treat people inappropriately. The douche bag cock suckers were wrong too. But their issues weren’t about me. Their issues were about them. If I hadn’t picked them, their actions wouldn’t have affected me.

So what I needed was the reasoning. Why did I continue to settle for people who didn’t deserve me? I was smart, beautiful, had big goals, grand aspirations and the determination to achieve it all but I’d date guys that sold drugs as their main “jobs,” guys who dropped out of high school and had no plans of completing their education, guys who were mean and angry and guys who cheated habitually. Now I’m not judging, everyone has their own journey but these were individuals who just didn’t match me.

So with all this being said, let me ask you something sweetie. Does this hit home for you? Are you a current dater hater because you are the common denominator?

(Puts hand under chin, cocks head to the right, lifts both eyebrows and patiently waits for an answer)

Until we meet again sweet sexy thangs,

Almostdating007

 

Dear future…

Tonight I was walking to the curb to take out the trash and I had a mono convo in my head. I was speaking to my future king. Sounds crazy but I don’t mind.
I said, “King today I woke up at 5:45am, got dressed dropped my daughter off at school, went to work for 9.5 hours, went to the gym, went to ATM afterwards and then got some gas. I came home after dark and due to lack of light I struggled but cleaned the back yard, then I took out the trash. King, I’ve been on my own since I was 17. I’ve done all of this with no one around. I don’t need you. I want you, isn’t that more profound?”

Until we meet my sweet,
Almostdating007

 

Sex, old folks, noodles and shit…

Love Challenge: Keep your legs closed for at least 90 days and see how things change.

I posted this “Love Challenge” on my Facebook wall last night before bed. I wasn’t really challenging anyone, I just called it that for shits and giggles but I woke up with mixed comments and several likes.

Here are some of the replies:

• Are you joking? Or is this real?
• YAAAAAASSSSS!
• Oh a lot changes when you remove sex from the equation you really get to know the person.
• No thanks! I’m married with young children. Gotta take it when it happens. Lol
• CTFU I made it and then some!!!
• I couldn’t go 90 days in any situation! I blame it on the Taurus in me! Lol seriously I understand the concept, just never worked for me, I tried some years ago and I would break my own rule!
• I lasted 8 months one time. It was rough.

Sex is a technical relation, the male and female organs were made to fit one another but it’s not an intimate connection. If it were, you’d still feel deeply connected to everyone you’ve had sex with.

(You’re obviously not because there are folks who you slept with and to this day you can’t even remember their names lol.)

People often mistake intimacy with sex but intimacy can be felt without any form of sexual experience. It’s a connection, a bodiless bond between two people. It’s an affectionate correlation that no one outside of your relationship can break. Imagine if you had a connection so strong with your partner that you could feel them when they weren’t there. Imagine if you could conceive orgasms without physical touch. Now that’d be deep, wouldn’t it? That’d be some serious shit!

A person who quickly replies “No” to abstinence without even thinking intrigues me because they’ve convinced their mind that their genitals rule them.

Romantically, I don’t trust anyone who thinks they’re addicted to sex or anything else. Lack of control is not attractive to me. “And I’m not just the Hair Club President, I’m a client too!” Lol, Sorry I’m just random. I’ve been abstinent since January. (My longest was 9 months) This run might not seem like a long time to you but for me, it’s a big deal!

How come, you ask? Because it’s made dating less emotional and therefore easier for me. I don’t find myself rushing and I don’t allow my feelings to guide me. I don’t know about guys but ladies if you keep it real with yourself, I know you feel me, we’re some emotional beings. We get attached quickly after sex. Wanna hear a joke? What do lesbians bring to a second date? Answer: a U-haul. I can laugh because I’m part Native American, French, Lesbian and Black. Bwhahhaha

Back in the day, I could “love em and leave em” but I’m not the beast I used to be.

This isn’t just about not having sex, it’s about seeing beyond what your eyes can see and feeling beyond what your hands can feel. This is about reaching for something more, something deeper, something beyond physicality, and something that would establish an invisible and intimate connection between you and yourself and therefore you and your current or future partner. Sometimes we allow to get so jaded by sex; we completely ignore the fact that we have absolutely nothing worthwhile with a person. What happens when we get old, I mean really freaking old. That your shit is shriveled up kind of old and limp like Asian noodles old. Sex doesn’t create longevity. You better have something else to go on…

Until we meet again my little freaky bastards,

Almostdating007

Check out this post on sexual and aural energy…it’s interesting.

 

Don’t you worry…

“Don’t worry about losing love. It might look a little different the next time but its promised to always come back around.”

 

 

Until next time sweet babies,

Almostdating007

 

Eyes wide shut…

Ladies…

There are plenty of good men out there but there’s a catch.
If you’re so focused on the
untruism that there aren’t,
you won’t be able to see Him.

It’s been said, if you change your thoughts, if you change your mind – you can change your life. But if you put so much energy into believing that a person doesn’t exist, how can you ever see them in your reality?

I’ve heard so many ladies kick, cry and scream that they want a good man but in the next breath, she or another dame she calls a “friend,” will speak the most idiotic words ever known to woman…BUT THERE AREN’T ANY GOOD MEN OUT THERE or ALL MEN ARE DOGS! #killyoself. Do you mean to tell me that you truly believe that out of the millions of men in the world, none of them are good? Seriously?

What’s yalls problem?! I’ll answer that! You’re scared! You’re scared that if you believe he exists you’ll be responsible for attracting him, trusting him and loving yourself enough to love him and that would mandate you putting your heart on the line. You’re scared that if you do that, you’ll get hurt. You’re allowing fear to prohibit you from attracting and receiving the very thing your heart yearns for so much – Love. Now why would you ever go and do such a thing to yourself?

Idk who made you believe that you aren’t worthy of receiving every freaking single thing you desire but who cares what they said or what they did, FUCK THEM!

Listen to me ladies because I know your heart and I’ve been where you are.
Read this part aloud…Do it dammit!!!

I am strong enough, I am worthy enough, I am good enough, I am attractive enough, I am smart enough, I am sexy enough. I AM ENOUGH!!!!
(Go look in the mirror and say it over and over again.)

All you’ve got to do is believe it to receive it!!!!

Until next time my sweet babies, I love you all…

Almostdating007

 

 

Disclaimer: Don’t kill yourself. The statement is a figure of speech and I am not directing you to actually do it. If you do, because I have given this disclaimer I will not be liable. Please don’t though.

 

So you say you’re a side chick…

With a few minutes left for V Day on the West Coast, I’m sitting on the counter of my kitchen with my glass of wine, chocolate covered strawberries, sporting my Chuck Taylors and I’m thinking. So with these thoughts in mind, I’ll give you this…

No one is worth being unhappy for just to say you have someone on any day. Many times I’ve seen someone knowingly settle for less than they deserve just to feel the illusion of completeness. I’ve done it and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere and it hasn’t stopped being sad and sickening that we waste our time and effort being unhappy.

As I watched the facebook posts today I saw so many downing the “side chick,” you know the woman that a man keeps on the side despite him being in a relationship. I found the ridicule sad because I don’t find other people’s pain to be comical or something to be made fun of. When it comes down to it, there’s something emotionally out of wack with a person who chooses to set their happiness to the side or throw it completely out of the picture for any reason, let alone someone else. There’s a deeper issue there and instead of ridicule, those individuals need to learn how to practice self love until it becomes like breathing. They need guidance not harsh words.

I pride myself for making great strides and changes within myself. Letting go of toxic relationships and not allowing the selfish tendencies of others to guilt or hinder me. But I might not have been able to get to this point without help. Help from friends and family that love me and from my life coach. They say it takes a village to raise a child but sometimes it takes that same village to help an adult when the child in them is still suffering from emotional scars that have neglected to heal.

So with 0 minutes left on this Valentine’s Day, I want to send some love to the side chicks. I was once where you are and I hope with all of my heart:
That one day soon you’ll realize your worth!
That you’ll believe that you’re a truly amazing human being!
That you deserve to be treated like a queen!
That you deserve to be a priority and not just an option!
That you’ll put yourself first in your life instead of settling for second place in someone else’s!
That you deserved to heal and you deserve to be truly happy!

Much love my sistah and good luck…

Until Next Time,

Almostdating007

 

From the RanDom ThouGhts of Almostdating007

 

Why he’s SiNgLe???

“Women aren’t single because of men, we are single because of women!” Yup I said it! You mad bro???

Women are always complaining about there being no good single men. We’ve heard it all from “all men are dogs, all men are the same,” so on and so on. But throughout my recent dating experiences I’ve learned that there’s certainly more than two sides to every story. There are plenty of good single men, all men aren’t dogs and they’re definitely not all the same. In my opinion, they’re tired and not tired in the lazy sense; they’re tired of women’s bullshit.

I’ve met guys from diverse places and it seems like they all have similar stories. She cheated…she wasn’t who she pretended to be…she got pregnant on purpose…she keeps my baby away from me…she was just with me for my money…nothing was good enough for her. Over the last 2 weeks I’ve heard all sorts of debaucheries.

Some women cheat, use men for money, have unrealistic expectations and lie with the best of them (And ladies don’t get your panties all in a bunch, I specifically said SOME women, not all. Calm down damn!)

But very different from women, men seem to have the kind of scars that keep them out of relationships because of the heartache and being let down. A scorned woman will hold on to the pain, displaying it in different ways but she will still jump from relationship to relationship trying to find the ideal man or change a man into the ideal man for her. All the while not understanding that she’s the one who needs the most internal work/help, not him. Unlike most of the ladies, most men are perfectly fine staying single.

Men get tired of the masks that women wear just like women get tired of the lies men tell. Some women walk around like they’re the victims but more are suspects than they’re willing to admit. Only revealing their surfaces and selling these men dreams so when they meet us truly genuine women, men can’t tell fake from reality.

Until next time my supple homosapiens,

Almostdating007