Allow me to introduce myself. Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Tiffany Michellè and I’m a mutha freaking inspiring, motivating, educating, ground shaking, wind breaking (lol), keeping it real stating hustler!
I told you it would happen and now its a reality! My very own graphic t-shirt line #imjustthemessenger apparel is alive and kicking!
Visit http://www.imjustthemessenger.net, view more designs and make your purchase today!
Until next time suga plums,
Tiffany Michellè
Introducing #imjustthemessenger apparel by Tiffany Michellè!
Now not only can you enjoy my words of inspiration, motivation and realism via my books and blog but you can get as close as close can get to me on the skin you’re in!! Owww La La!!
I will be taking pre-orders and designing additional items in the near future so stay tuned! Men’s shirts are also available!
Spread the Word my little love muffins!
Tiffany Michellè
The other day I was conversing with an ex via text. I always hear of him because we share a mutual love, a teenage daughter but we hadn’t spoken in a long while and for good reason. After I experienced my most recent break up, I picked up a book I’d read during the relationship and I loved it so much I desired to read it again. It caresses my heart so much and provides beautiful perspective. This time around my reading it was even more fulfilling than the first time but there was one issue. While reading it, my ex (aka the baby’s daddy) kept popping up in my head.
So I saw that as a sign. Not as a sign that I wanted him back, no way! I saw it as a sign that I should send him the book. At that time I recalled that my daughter wanted to send him some pictures so that gave me a reason to ask for the address.
Let me back up and explain why we broke up for the final time. I was unhappy in the relationship for a long time. I would leave, only to feel guilty from feeling like I abandoned him (he’s incarcerated and his release date is currently unknown) and I’d go back. This damaging cycle went on for 8 years in 2 different states. Finally after I conjured up enough self-love, I left. I found happiness in my decision, he found bitterness.
So I texted him during the day and he sent me the address without an issue. I don’t recall why but later that night we began texting, nothing flirtatious just talking.
Side note: I do consider myself to be a flirtatious person and all of my close friends will second that notion but flirting with someone I don’t know is much more pleasurable for me. The catch is more of a challenge and sometimes I like to flirt for sport. I just can’t help myself which is probably why I should stay single lol. Just yesterday a young man told me that he liked my swag so much he’d allow me to take him in the most sinful “catholic priest” way and I hadn’t even flirted with him. He was turned on just by watching me in action with the ladies. Hey what can I say, when you got it, you just got it. Ok let me stop popping my own collar and get back to the freaking story lol.
So every time we talk my ex always has to bring up what he thinks went wrong with our relationship. He makes it a point to mention what he thinks are my faults. And if he doesn’t do that he says certain things with a condescending tone which is what he did this time. For example, even though he says my relationship adventures are none of his business and he doesn’t care, when I told him that I sent him the book, the 1st thing he said was, ”What would your boyfriend think about that?” In my head I was thinking, dude if you don’t care why are you asking. When I responded that we broke up and that I learned from experience that I actually enjoy being single, he replied, “Everyone says that after a breakup.” I explained that I was saying it in a good way and that I felt complete within myself. I said if I decide to get into another relationship, it will be complimentary and not mandatory. He replied, “If you say so.” (SMH) He said other pompous statements in regard to my emotional progress but I won’t bore you with those.
In the past his words and tone would’ve gotten to me. My feelings would’ve been hurt, as well as my belly from the tension and I would’ve done my absolute dysfunctional best to convince him of the progress within myself.
BUT ONE DAY, I REMINDED MYSELF THAT I NO LONGER HAD ANYTHING TO PROVE.
I felt no tension, no guilt; no emotional pain…all I felt was joy and relief! I cannot describe to you how free I felt. Even when he said, “Tiff, I don’t see you any kind of way.” I just shrugged my shoulders, laughed quietly and smiled to myself. At that point no matter how much he tried to convince me with his ego that he was over the past, his pain told me another story. It told me that he wasn’t healed, he numbed. He stuffed the pain he had whether it was justified or not, he hadn’t healed from it. I knew that because he felt the need to say hurtful things and it was obviously that he couldn’t release me with love. The time I was there for him and the positive things I did for him and our relationship didn’t matter. He refused to see the good in the experience because he was blinded with selfishness.
I felt sorry for him at that point. Although my sympathy was short lived, it did exist for a moment. In that moment I recalled that it was his emotional journey and that I was not responsible for helping him with it directly. My sending the book was my indirect help and that is where my assistance would end.
The next morning, a phrase came to mind, “hurting people hurt people.” I never get tired of hearing this universal truth because it says so much with just those simple and few words. The phrase gives us direction if we’re paying attention.
Often when we meet people and they either tell us of their pain or we can see it, we jump to the rescue like we’re responsible for saving them. But we only end up hurting ourselves in the process. Our happiness is placed on the backburner because we make their pain our pain and we begin to neglect ourselves. We aren’t aware that we aren’t responsible for saving them. For some reason we’ve been convinced that we can fix other people’s emotional hang ups with our love but that’s not true. True healing and forgiveness comes from self-love. The more love you have for yourself, the quicker you heal, the easier it is to forgive yourself and others and you recognize when someone is toxic. We aren’t accountable for healing people just as they aren’t accountable for healing us. Everyone has their own emotional journey and we’re only responsible for our half of any relationship. When you make their journey, your journey you cheat them out of growing through the experience in order to find the lesson.
If you are suffering in a relationship with a hurting person or you’re that hurting person, it’s time to make a change, not within that person but within You.
Until we meet again my lovely suckas,
Tiffany Michellé
It’s Monday morning and it takes everything within you to drag yourself out of bed. You not only dread Monday mornings but every moment that you have to be at work. You hate your job and you think everyone there is a fucktard! Hmmm…
Well it might not be your job that’s the issue or the people. I’m sorry to say (I’m lying, I’m not sorry) but ITS YOU! Awww poor baby, I’m calling you out and now you’re butt hurt.
You hate me now? Well too bad, keep listening. It sounds like there’s a lack of happiness/quality in your life and the way you’ve been approaching it, is most likely the cause of your discontentment. Get that frown off your face and let me explain.
I write about depending on you emotionally in this blog a lot. Well did you know there’s a word for that?
***Drum roll please***
It’s called INTROSPECTION!
In my own words, introspection is looking within yourself to find the answers you seek, hopefully with an understanding that you’re responsible for your thoughts and feelings, which dictate the level of happiness and quality in your life.
Have you ever met or do you know a person who’s always happy? They seem like they always have something positive to say no matter the circumstances and they’re full of energy. We call those folks Positive Patties. PP’s might remind you of someone who’s amped up on coke but the diff is a PP’s high doesn’t go down, it’s natural, it doesn’t cause nose bleeds and it’s legal lol ☺.
HERE’S THE SECRET!!!
You must realize that happiness isn’t dependent upon or controlled by what’s occurring outside of you (people, religion, society, the media and etc.). Your level of happiness and therefore your quality of life is solely reliant on your thoughts and feelings. The key is you have to be consistent in controlling them in order to experience constant happiness, no matter what you’re doing, what’s going on in your life and regardless of who’s around.
Now some of you might be positively satisfied with your quality of life. If you are, kudos to you; tell everyone your secret by writing it in a book and charging $14.99 for it. That’s what I did…so go buy it at http://tiffanymichel-le.com and then email this post to all the fucktards you know, like seriously…let’s work together to make this world a much happier place.
Until we meet again my sweet banana splits with a cherry on top,
Tiffany Michellé
This is the first time in a relationship that I didn’t put a portion of my happiness in someone else’s hands. Meaning that I knew that he couldn’t make me happy and therefore I didn’t burden him with that responsibility. I understood that my happiness could only come from inside of me. I was happy going in and I’m still happy even though the relationship came to an end. I own my happy and therefore I also own my life. This is also the first relationship I’ve experienced while being 100% emotionally healthy. I suffered no damaging emotional pain and I didn’t take his pain personal.
The experience showed me how ok I am with being single. Its funny how you think you desire an experience only to find that you don’t really need it. That’s tremendous growth for me because I used to feel incomplete if I wasn’t in a relationship.
We’ve been conditioned to think that we are incomplete if we aren’t with someone. By time you’re 30, family, society and etc. are yelling, YOU SHOULD BE MARRIED!! Then as soon as you get married, they pressure you to reproduce. Hey that’s what people are supposed to do, right? If you divorce, its shame on you!
In the middle of all those demands, not many people are asked, “What do you want?” We are told what to do, by religion, other people, the media and etc. And let’s not talk about the labels placed on our depending on our relationship status…
This freedom has put me in a entirely different place within myself. Now I know I have a choice, I have options. There’s absolutely no internal pressure. I can do whatever or whomever and still be ok! A relationship is no longer mandatory to me. If one happens, it’ll be complimentary, not absolutely necessary. I cannot describe this new feeling but I just love it!
You can learn a lot when you’re paying attention, especially to yourself…
Until next time my scrumptious lovebuckets,
Tiffany Michellè
During life we experience so much with other individuals. Some of those times feel good and some of them don’t. Often when they don’t feel favorable we point our emotional and mental attention outward at the person instead of inward to ourselves. In doing so we miss the opportunity to learn the lesson planted in the experience and therefore the chance to grow into a better us.
Love & Light,
Tiffany Michellè
The moment when you realize your relationship is over is a crucial one. In that moment, there are a few options available that a lot of people neglect to consciously make a well thought decision about. Most people decide their post relationship actions based off of their emotions. Some sadly attempt to continue the relationship when their partner has repeatedly hurt them or expressed they’re no longer interested in the relationship, hoping and wishing that things will change. Some people leave but aim to get revenge #seektherapyuracreeper or they peruse around giving up the goods to every Tom, Dick and Harriet they meet. While others go into a shell and close themselves off or they date other people in lightning speed, neglecting to heal, hurting other people because of their own pain.
For a girl like me, there are only a couple options available: I can learn to appreciate the experience, receive whatever lessons need to be learned and quickly jump back on the saddle or
Although the breakup occurred a few days ago, I’d been acting as if I was indifferent about it. Yesterday during the morning hours I was feeling great! I thought about what I needed to learn from the experience and a little bird must’ve chirped to a few folks that I was newly single because my phone began to ring more than it had been. I put my ego on and jumped into flirt mode.
The illusion of bliss was short lived. Later that afternoon it hit me that I’d already bought my plane ticket to visit and the rental car was booked. Since we were no longer an item, I’d need the car longer and I’d have to pay for all of my travel fees, a hotel and etc. I don’t really know anyone there. The city where I spent most of my younger years is close by but it’s beyond boring, there’s not much for a Vegas girl to do and it’s super humid there. And to be honest, it’s like red neck country. Grrrrrrrrr, I sat in front of my laptop pondering. What do I do? Do I really desire to spend my vacation in the country with locusts, mosquitoes and confederate flags? Do I just say fuck it and go alone anyway? I could’ve remained in the world of many unanswered questions but I decided to do what I do best: Make the best out of the situation.
Ring…Ring…Ring…Welcome to Southwest Airlines, this is Susie how may I help you?
Hmmm… Well for starters, I’d like around $75,000 to pay off my school loans, a 2014 BMW 850 Grand Coupe, a maid with long legs, nice curves and a Brazilian accent and endless shots of Vodka, hold the chaser.
She was obviously unwilling to assist me with any of what I thought were totally reasonable requests so instead I asked her to update my destination to another place. After the call was over, I felt relieved, I began to make plans for my new trip and things were looking up.
While I was in the shower all of the optimism I had while inhaling the bitter sweet haze of being single again, went down the drain. The steam brought in something unexpected, my chest began to get heavy and I began to FEEL.
THIS WAS MY MOMENT
Oh shit!
I’m on the rebound!
I can’t start dating anyone.
I don’t know what I want.
Do I want to stay single?
What if I start dating someone and I hurt them because I am not sure?
I can’t think about focusing on someone else yet.
My feelings are hurt.
Earlier I stated:
“For a girl like me, there are only a couple options available: I can learn to appreciate the experience, receive whatever lessons need to be learned and quickly jump back on the saddle or ????”
When my mind quieted and the questions silenced, I decided that my “or ????” was to take the time I need to breathe, grow through this and decide what I want for myself in regard to relationships. I’m quite sure after my lil ole heart is good again, I’ll be back to being Almostdating007. Maybe…
Until next time my sweet little butter nipples,
Tiffany Michellé
When a situation in your life feels uncomfortable, remind yourself that life is stretching you. Life’s desire is for you to grow through the lesson in order to become a better you. Take advantage of that moment. Quiet your emotions and consciously ask yourself – What role will I take in this situation, the victim or the victor? You have the power to decide.
Love & Light,
Tiffany Michellè
Inspiring Times with Tiffany Michellé 💋♥☺ 