This is the first time in a relationship that I didn’t put a portion of my happiness in someone else’s hands. Meaning that I knew that he couldn’t make me happy and therefore I didn’t burden him with that responsibility. I understood that my happiness could only come from inside of me. I was happy going in and I’m still happy even though the relationship came to an end. I own my happy and therefore I also own my life. This is also the first relationship I’ve experienced while being 100% emotionally healthy. I suffered no damaging emotional pain and I didn’t take his pain personal.
The experience showed me how ok I am with being single. Its funny how you think you desire an experience only to find that you don’t really need it. That’s tremendous growth for me because I used to feel incomplete if I wasn’t in a relationship.
We’ve been conditioned to think that we are incomplete if we aren’t with someone. By time you’re 30, family, society and etc. are yelling, YOU SHOULD BE MARRIED!! Then as soon as you get married, they pressure you to reproduce. Hey that’s what people are supposed to do, right? If you divorce, its shame on you!
In the middle of all those demands, not many people are asked, “What do you want?” We are told what to do, by religion, other people, the media and etc. And let’s not talk about the labels placed on our depending on our relationship status…
This freedom has put me in a entirely different place within myself. Now I know I have a choice, I have options. There’s absolutely no internal pressure. I can do whatever or whomever and still be ok! A relationship is no longer mandatory to me. If one happens, it’ll be complimentary, not absolutely necessary. I cannot describe this new feeling but I just love it!
You can learn a lot when you’re paying attention, especially to yourself…
Until next time my scrumptious lovebuckets,