As we grow we should learn to accept the fact that people are allowed to choose what they want for their lives. It might not be the same decision that we would make but in that instant we must remind ourselves that we’re all different. Some of us want different things and because of that diversity, we make different choices. People chose to live for their own reasons. They chose their goals and their dreams and they’re permitted to select what they want and what they don’t, no matter how their choice might affect us.
In our last conversation over a year ago before I walked away, my father told me, “I love you daughter.” It was something he said every time we spoke and our conversation was coming to a close. But in his actions, he chooses not to be in my or my little brother’s life for reasons unknown – reasons of his own. Does that mean he doesn’t love us? I don’t know, honestly. The day I decided to heal from the pain, understanding was no longer my concern. I accepted the fact that his version of love isn’t mine.
We must respect the choices that people make with the understanding that it’s their life, not ours. You or I cannot paint a picture depicting what we want someone else’s love to look like and make it truth. How they choose to deliver it is up to them, we can only see what they give, decide if it matches ours and then choose if we want to receive it.
As we mature and experience life, our version of love changes like the weather. We meet people, we think we’re in love, it ends and we realize it was never love, just a very strong like. When we’re young, we love everyone. Then the world taints us, we experience pain and we become selective and protective.
If asked the definition of love, you could try your best to provide the most philosophical, intensely deep answer known to man but that answer would still only be your opinion, almost certainly based on your experiences. What does love look like to a girl whose mother has abused her since infancy? Does it look the same to a boy whose father devotedly cared for him all of his life? What about the girl who fell in love with a man who later broke her heart? What does love look like to her? Most likely her definition will be based on the timing in which you asked – before or after the heartache.
I have no idea what love is to you, her, him or anyone else; what I do know is…
“People will show you all kinds of confusing depictions of love therefore concurrently you must know without a doubt what it means to you. You need to be conscious of what it feels like, what it looks like, what it tastes like, what it smells like and what it sounds like to you. After you decide it’s meaning with everything within your being, you must stand firm on that belief consistently, like breathing.”
Until we meet again,