It is the responsibility of a mindful person to recognize the lack of healing within another person however it is not their duty to fix said person. An aware person shouldn’t advise the unhealed; if they choose they should only ask the appropriate questions in order to guide the other person back to themselves. They can and maybe should decide to walk away depending on the level of imbalance.
I said that to say this (I know some of you are Leman’s terms folks):
When you’re in the dating game and you meet someone who is everything you desire but you aren’t everything you’re asking for, understand if that person either decides not to date you or insists on taking their time to get to know you instead of rushing into a relationship.
A whole/complete person is one that is emotionally healed and who practices Emotional Intelligence. They seek within themselves for advice. If they seek outside of themselves for advice, they do this with a person who is also emotionally intelligent.
Non-egotistically, they understand they need nothing from anyone, including you. This can become an issue because most people haven’t gotten to a point to where they’re secure enough, not to be needed.
A more detrimental issue arises when a person doesn’t recognize that they’re not healed or they realize it but ignore it. Most unhealed people depend on other people’s presence to temporarily “fix” them. They ignore their internal issues and allow themselves to be jaded. Once the emotional high has subsided; their unhealed pain rises. This dysfunctional cycle is normally repeated.
Serious contemplation needs to take place when it comes to deciding whether to date an “unwhole” person, due to the fact that it takes patience and internal peace to endure the process of allowing a person to grow into them-selves to eventually become healthy, healed and whole. This is a process that some folks are not willing to endure and that choice should be respected and not taken personal.
Some indicators of possible unresolved emotional issues:
- Feeling incomplete or uncomfortable when you are not in relationship
- Attracting ineffective people into your life on a consistent basis
- Putting your true desires second to keep someone in your life
- Settling for less than you want
- Feeling like you are not enough
My advice to you:
Be honest with yourself in regard to possible unresolved emotional issues. If you don’t feel you can be truthful with yourself, seek help. These concerns are almost certainly affecting you and your relationships. Do what you can to heal, not for someone else but for yourself.
Much ♥ and until next time,