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Free 2 #loveme

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I used to be the kind of person that would never ask for help nor accept help when it was offered. One year, I contracted this super duper intergalactic flu. I couldn’t do anything for myself. I had to suck my ego up and allow others to do things and buy things for me. Even accepting smallest financial tokens was hard for me. See, I’ve always prided myself on being so independent. I had never been so sick in my life but that isn’t what broke me.

While laying in bed, a silent and calm voice spoke to me. It asked one thing and that one thing changed me.

“Would you rather not have them?”

What? What do you mean? I sat there for a moment and then it dawned on me. What if the Universe assumed I didn’t need the people who were dear to me because I didn’t allow them to be there for me? What if they were taken away from me, from my life?

I began to cry. How had I made them feel by continuing to say no to their love? What if their most important need was the need to feel needed? What had I done? What was I doing?

From that day on, my mind changed as well as my heart. That day, I allowed love to love me back.

Idk who needed to hear this but I tend to be very obedient to the voice in my head and when it tells me to write, I do. So here ya go love bucket. From me to you…because we both deserve to be loved. 😉

Until next time,
Tiffany Michellé ✌

 
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Posted by on October 13, 2015 in Life, Love

 

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Video

I #lust you…

Why are women so willing to trust someone else with their bodies but skeptical when it comes to giving their hearts? • This, of course isn’t a question I’d like an answer to, I’d rather you attempt to understand the point in the rhetoric.
10.09.2015
Tiffany Michellé ✌

 
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Posted by on October 9, 2015 in Dating

 

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#707 Shift Happens

I’m currently reading one of my favorite books for the 3rd time, The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz. I highly recommend it to anyone who desires to see a heightened and an effective perspective about love of self and others.

In the chapter, entitled The Wounded Mind, a question is posed,

“How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?”

This question never stuck out to me in my previous reads as it did today. The word relationship derives from the word relate, meaning to interact realistically and/or an ability to relate emotionally to others.

Let’s venture off for just a moment…

Earlier this year, I began to experience a shift. As a person who consistently felt as if the cosmos was pulling me into relationship after relationship, imagine my surprise when I began to have no desire to “relate” with men. Every time I pictured being with a man, I would experience immediate nausea (it still happens). One would think because I’m bisexual this wouldn’t bother me but I began to feel very afraid. Perhaps this was my inner self somehow indicating that I no longer desired men and therefore I’d solely desire women. That would be ok for some but not for me. See, I like options; I always have. Although being attracted to both sexes has been strenuous at times, I love the way I am. I feel perfectly balanced. I like the way I help others gain perspective being that I’m so open, nonjudgmental and unbiased.

As a conscious person, I seldom go outside of myself for answers. I tend to go within to seek answers in regard to my emotions, thoughts and my actions. So instead of continuing to be scared without taking action, I began to self-analyze.

A Conversation with self:

Self: When did this begin?

Me: After the last relationship ended.

Self: But even after the relationship ended you had to have had a slight sexual desire for men because you participated in a single sextracurricular activity.

Me: After that, I felt NOTHING.

What the hell was going on? Why was I going through this?

After a while, I just accepted it. I’d see attractive people and my spidey senses would tingle but the nausea would come immediately after. Imagine my dismay; imagine the mayhem going on inside of my mind and my body. I felt like I’d been bamboozled, run amuck, we didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us! (If you don’t know that line, #killyoself)

Alright so let’s go back to the question:

“How can you relate with people who are emotionally wounded and sick with fear?”

Nothing in regard to dating made 100% sense during this shift. But the moment I read that question, clarity rang from the heavens. I am not single because I’m not attractive, intimidating, too picky, undeserving, too big, too little, too black, too tall, too smart or too different. After I read that question, it was simple. I am single because the people I meet relate to things that are for entertainment purposes only; things that lack meaning. Most of the guys haven’t been thinkers or readers. They’re caught up in the illusion and completed distracted. Growth to them isn’t about self-love, self-reliance, introspection and etc. Being successful is equated to how much money they have, how many women they can have sex with, how big their houses are and what kind of car they drive; without these things, they feel like they are nothing. I am single because I can’t relate.

I now know that this wasn’t a sexual shift I’ve been experiencing. This is much more than my getting nauseated at the thought of relations with a man. This was about my being so disgusted by my past counterparts who were emotionally wounded and sick with fear that I unknowingly developed a psychosomatic defense mechanism. The nausea was a safeguard. As I think back and am truly honest, I fell weak after my last relationship. I sunk very low within myself. Something within me had to protect me until I could do it on my own. I am now emotionally healed and I live fearlessly once again.

Until next time,

Tiffany

TM

 
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Posted by on July 2, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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Rule #5 – Don’t be a homophobic b!tch

the background

So I got back on the dating scene about a month ago. Although my wants have changed, no longer desiring a serious relationship, the buffoonery of the dating scene is the same.

the scene

Ring…Ring.

Almostdating007: hey you, what’s up?

him: hey gorgeous, wyd?

Almostdating007: hanging out with my cousin.

him: that’s what up. well I’m off today and I’m barbecuing. why don’t you come over?

Almostdating007: alright cool, I’m omw.

Mind you, this is my 1st time meeting this guy. I pull into his apartment building which I notice is a little hood but I give him a complimentary pass because I understand shit happens. I text him, “I’m here” and he comes outside. Luckily he looked like his picture with the exception of THE slight I’ve been catfished BELLY he had going on. I stepped through his door and I am standing in the threshold of some serious disappointing shit.

5 Dating Etiquette Tips for Guys

Let us begin:

  • Clean the f word up! – I understand that a man’s space is his cave and he has been approved to do whatever the hell he wants in it.
    • But if you invite a woman over, understand that you have to at least fake it until you make it. Clean up the bachelor pad. I’m not saying it has to be spotless but if a girl feels like she needs a toilet seat cover to use your bathroom, something is seriously wrong.
  • Everyone is not a carnivore – Plan ahead
    • If you want to impress a woman by inviting her over so you can cook for her, plan ahead. Ask her what she likes to eat. Don’t just assume she eats everything. And when you say you’re barbecuing, know that she’s assuming you’re going to have more food than just chicken. Where are the sides? Can a bitch get some potato salad or at least some macaroni? Damn! I’m thirsty!
  • To be or not to be – Yourself
    • When a dating questionnaire asks you if you smoke, know that the question is most likely referring to cigarettes not weed, crack or heroine. If you smoke, be honest and indicate, “Yes.” A girl who thinks all your information is true on your dating profile, shouldn’t walk into a freaking second hand smoke fest with you standing smack dap in the middle of it.
  • Don’t be a cheap skate – broke a$$
    • When you cook for a woman, especially if it’s your 1st date, she shouldn’t have to pay for shit but if she’s nice, she’ll ask if she should bring anything. If you respond, “Yeah, some laundry detergent.” Slap yourself! It’s your 1st date dude; she isn’t your girlfriend or your wife. You should’ve picked that up when you were buying those cheap ass drumsticks and she’s a pescetarian!
  • Don’t be a homophobic bitch!
    • Expressing how disgusted you are by gay people probably isn’t smart when talking to someone you don’t really know. Particularly when the person is bisexual and has gay friends and family. (Me! Me! Me!)
      • Side note: this guy who I thought was very masculine walked outside to throw a chicken bone in the complex trash can (weird b/c he had a trash can in his house). All of a sudden, he begins walking with a switch in his walk looking sweeter than a honey bee sucking on a queen bee’s titty. Umm wait what? I didn’t get the memo. Does your boy toy stay around here and you’re secretly giving him a show or something? Are you disgusted with gays because you’re too chicken shit to come out of the closet? Wth was all that about?

After his open display of confusing homophobic tendencies, I couldn’t take it anymore. I texted my cousin and asked him to call me in 5 minutes and fake like he had an emergency. When I was getting into my car, he says please don’t forget to call me. I laughed.

youaresodumb

 

 

 

 

 

Until next time my sweet little pleasure holes,

Tiffany Michellé aka Almostdating007

 

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Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Dating, Life

 

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A woman in #L♥ve…

man-kiss-woman-adam-art-last_10928You’ve prayed for it

Felt incomplete without it

Experienced envy of it

Yearned for it more than your breath

Without it you were on the brink of death

Short of it, you have nothing left

I feel compelled to ask. Are you really ready for love? Are you prepared for the helplessness that hits you like a flash of lightning in a thunderstorm? Are you emotionally equipped with what it takes to be in love? You state you desire love but are you ready?

When I met you, you were the prototype of a woman. You were strong and well put together. You had an essence that was attractive and your energy pulled me without effort. The sway in your walk would make anyone salivate. You were tantalizing. But even the stoutest woman will quake in unexpected submission when she falls in love. Especially if I’ve made her back arch and her toes curl. It will be the scariest thing she’s ever experienced. If she isn’t prepared, it will not only sweep her off her feet; it will cause her to lose her most precious possession, herself. She’ll find herself questioning her security, doubting her most innermost thoughts; she will feel powerless.

This is when most partners begin to see a woman they didn’t see before and sometimes it will push them away. Why? Because everything that you were before has been either tucked away and forgotten or it was washed away because it wasn’t real in the first place.

Once the L word has been spoken if a person is insecure, the nagging begins. The mistrust begins. The overthinking begins. It’s like you can’t help yourself and you don’t know why. Let me let you in on a little secret. All of these are symptoms from the vulnerability a person begins to experience after they fall in love or gain great feelings for another individual. Once you fall in love, if you are not complete within yourself, all of the insecurities you tried to hide or were unaware of, will make themselves shown, front line and center. And they will hit you and your partner like a freight train going south. Your once “caught up” partner will go west and if your internal issues are not addressed you will remain smack dap in the middle…stagnant.

Most people didn’t receive classes on confidence while in grade school nor in college. Most were not taught about love and relationships from their parents or elders. Most people aren’t cognizant in regard to dealing with themselves, let alone dealing intimately with someone else. A certain level of buoyancy is needed when dealing with love in relationships, especially when sex is involved and most people are not equipped for this. Most learn from experience, some don’t learn at all and if you find someone who’s willing to take the journey of finding yourself without judgment or ridicule successfully and devoid of insanity, you are a fortunate and rare person.

The best gift you can give yourself is honesty. Looking at yourself from the inside out might be the hardest thing you’ve ever done but it can also be the most worthwhile. No one wants to admit they are not superwoman but instead they’re human. As women, we have been taught we always have to be strong, first for others and then for ourselves but that’s bullshit. Despite what’s going on in life, you must stop and take the time to look in the mirror at your innermost vulnerable self and ask, are you really ready for love or do you need to learn how to truly love yourself?

Love is

free and beautiful

Love is

peace and patience

Love is

all things good.

Until next time,

TMichel-le

 
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Posted by on May 5, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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The Wounded ♥

The Wounded ♥

It is the responsibility of a mindful person to recognize the lack of healing within another person however it is not their duty to fix said person. An aware person shouldn’t advise the unhealed; if they choose they should only ask the appropriate questions in order to guide the other person back to themselves. They can and maybe should decide to walk away depending on the level of imbalance.

I said that to say this (I know some of you are Leman’s terms folks):

When you’re in the dating game and you meet someone who is everything you desire but you aren’t everything you’re asking for, understand if that person either decides not to date you or insists on taking their time to get to know you instead of rushing into a relationship.

A whole/complete person is one that is emotionally healed and who practices Emotional Intelligence. They seek within themselves for advice. If they seek outside of themselves for advice, they do this with a person who is also emotionally intelligent.

Non-egotistically, they understand they need nothing from anyone, including you. This can become an issue because most people haven’t gotten to a point to where they’re secure enough, not to be needed.

A more detrimental issue arises when a person doesn’t recognize that they’re not healed or they realize it but ignore it. Most unhealed people depend on other people’s presence to temporarily “fix” them. They ignore their internal issues and allow themselves to be jaded. Once the emotional high has subsided; their unhealed pain rises. This dysfunctional cycle is normally repeated.

Serious contemplation needs to take place when it comes to deciding whether to date an “unwhole” person, due to the fact that it takes patience and internal peace to endure the process of allowing a person to grow into them-selves to eventually become healthy, healed and whole. This is a process that some folks are not willing to endure and that choice should be respected and not taken personal.

Some indicators of possible unresolved emotional issues:

  • Feeling incomplete or uncomfortable when you are not in relationship
  • Attracting ineffective people into your life on a consistent basis
  • Putting your true desires second to keep someone in your life
  • Settling for less than you want
  • Feeling like you are not enough

My advice to you:

Be honest with yourself in regard to possible unresolved emotional issues. If you don’t feel you can be truthful with yourself, seek help. These concerns are almost certainly affecting you and your relationships. Do what you can to heal, not for someone else but for yourself.

Much ♥ and until next time,

TMichel-le

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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I Am…

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A ripple in my heart echoes. Sensation up my legs, beyond my valley, to my Sacral plexus; it flows. Circulating as my mind vibrates. Light radiates. My lips shiver like a guitar string plucked softly in spring. Its essence permeates my body. I am…Love exhaling.

Tiffany Michellé 💋
Tiffanymichel-le.com

 
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Posted by on March 15, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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Silent Whispers ❤

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You never know what someone is going through. Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve and not everyone feels comfortable self disclosing without being prompted. So when your spirit whispers to you to ask if someone’s ok, push your ego to the side and put love first. You never know, you listening might save a moment or even a life.

Until next time my sweets,
Tiffany Michellé
TiffanyMichel-le.com

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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If only…

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“If people truly loved themselves, it wouldn’t be so difficult to find true love.”
Tiffany Michellé 💋
tiffanymichel-le.com

 
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Posted by on March 4, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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What’s not said, what’s not there ~ The ♥ illusion

What’s not said, what’s not there ~ The ♥ illusion

So you’re single and looking. You’re on every free dating site known to man. You bring yourself to get out of the house and you attend as many community events as your schedule allows. You put on your big girl panties and try speed dating. You’re really making a conscious effort to think outside of the box. You go on dates with people you’re not attracted to, just in case they have a cute friend. You’re determined to find someone or allow them to find you.

just_another_painting_sexy_man__by_aenaluck-d5lkhwv

After a series of unfortunate affairs, you meet someone! They are unquestionably fabulous! They’re stunning, smart and sexy. They’re absolutely everything you listed in your “what I want in a mate” journal.

The catch: One day while having blissful conversation, they drop the “F” bomb in your lap!

“I’m not looking for a relationship; I’m only interested in being FRIENDS.”

waitwhat

You act as if you’re ok with it but inside you really feel like someone just stole your brand new cute little fluffy puppy or came in 30 seconds, whichever is worse. You just met but you felt like this could develop into something beautiful being that they’re everything you want. If they asked, you would’ve totally thrown out every precaution and walked down the aisle followed by a lifetime of sweet, sweaty, sensual and in some states illegal, sexual escapades.

In that exact moment, there’s a vital opportunity to practice an ultimate act of self-actualization. You could respond, “Ok well, I AM seeking a relationship and I’d rather get to know someone who has the same goal,” BUT you don’t. You go along with what you don’t want. You put your desires on the back burner. You continue getting to know them, knowing you’re totally attracted to them, you want more than a friendship with them and they don’t want the same. In the back of your head you’re thinking, “If they get to know me and see how wonderful I am, they’ll change their mind” and your heart suffers continuing to long for something that isn’t there.

But Why

Until next time my sweet little pumpkin nutty balls,

Tiffany Michellé

Photo Credit: Just another painting sexy man. by ~aenaluck on deviantART

 
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Posted by on February 17, 2015 in Dating, Life, Love

 

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