I can’t recall the exact day but one day in September 2014, I decided that I was going to focus on love. Not giving it, I’ve been doing that all of my life without a vacation. I planned to focus on being at the receiving end. I decided that I’d invite love in, but not just any love, I planned to manifest the perfect love for me. I decided to eat, sleep, sing and write only about love. I would’ve shitted love if I could lol #ewww. I’d only pay attention to love.
Now this might sound simple to you. It wasn’t. I’m a busy woman. I’m a self made entrepreneur. I had business to take care of but that business had to wait because I’d grown tired of waiting. The t-shirt design production would have to wait. The book would have to collect dust. Everything that wasn’t directly related to my receiving love was placed on the back end of my consciousness. I disabled my Facebook and other select social media networks. I decided (the death of all other options, thanks Frantonia Pollins) to focus.
So I created yet another profile on a well-known online dating site. I kept my Instagram open because I needed an outlet to write about love. I have a firm understanding that “you get what you give” so I knew if I talked to love by way of my writing through my heart, it’d eventually start talking back. So that’s exactly what I did. Every piece was about love. No matter how many inspirational and motivational writings came to mind, I didn’t write them down. I only put pen to paper if my thoughts were about el amour.
If you’ve ever been on any online dating site, you have come to understand that they give you a serious depiction of the fact that the world is full of idiots. It’s sad but the shit is true. If you had any doubt, online dating sites will prove to you that stupid people exist in supreme magnitude. Even though this is fact, I didn’t allow my short lived idiotic experiences to deter me from my goal. You might recall my dating challenge. During that time, I went out on a date even if I really didn’t like the guy. It was about numbers and getting to know the woman in me. This was not that. I didn’t even waste my time or my keystrokes with anyone I wasn’t feeling. I politely dismissed them was this shindig right here… My Dear John aka Jerome letter:
Yup I sure did. I clicked send, kept it pushing and I didn’t look back. I was focused babies. A few times I even expanded my search to out of towners that lived in the states I would consider moving to. I’d do that for about a week and then I’d bring it back home. I didn’t waste my time in too much textual conversation. If I got the feeling, I’d slide him my number. See, I need to hear a man’s voice to see if I’m attracted. I’m not into men with feeble voices. I’m stubborn. When I get out of line, I need a man with some bass in his tone to reel me back in.
Unfortunately, I had one bad experience. I had a stalker. He played sane but he wasn’t even close to that. I ended up having to block his text, calls, emails and I thanked baby Buddha over and over that he didn’t know where I lived. I deleted my profile for about 2 weeks but then I refocused and began again.
I got to the point to where my options were so plentiful; I could’ve gone out on a date every night for the rest of the year if I wanted to. Not to toot my own horn but I’m tooting my own horn lol. In spite of my plentiful choices, I narrowed my picks to two gentlemen. They were totally opposite of one another. One’s skin was light, one was dark, one was younger than me, the other was older than me, he was from the west coast, he was from the east, one had kids, the other had none, one was a good boy, and the other had a bad boy edge. One thing they did have in common was they both worked out, had sexy athletic bodies, were tall and both had nice deep voices.
What was a girl to do right? Well one of them made it really easy for me. He did something that the other one didn’t do. He knew something that the other didn’t. He had it. And IT was focus. He knew what he wanted and he knew who he wanted. He paid attention and he made time. He wanted me and him wanting me and not being afraid to show it made it easy for me to figure out that I wanted him too. After the decision was made, everything fell into place. I won’t give you all of the juicy details but I can tell you this. FOCUS!!!! By my focusing on receiving love, I attracted a man into my atmosphere that primarily focuses on giving it back to me (in multiple ways whew!).
So at the end of the day sweet babies, listen to me: If you know what you want and you’re sure you want it, don’t allow anything to get in your way. You might have to place some things on the back burner in order to put yourself first. Imagine, if some of us put as much focus into receiving intimate love than we put into making money, building our careers, helpings others and etc., we probably would’ve received the love we seek long ago. Think on it. Love on it.
Until next time my sweet little monkey nutts,
Have a listen…